The jackhammering that gave me the headache I've got right now can fuck off.
And drivers who plow down the far right lane after it's rained so that the water that's accumulated in the gutters splashes on the sidewalk like a tidal wave can fuck off. Listen, douchebag, sometimes there are fucking pedestrians walking down the street who prefer to take their showers in bathtubs.
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16 comments:
Meetings.
Hahahaha! I love how simply and beautifully that word expresses a resounding and unmistakeable "FUCK OFF."
Don't it, though? I think Laura won the thread already.
The person who, 27 years ago, poisoned Tylenol - depriving numerous people of beloved family members AND starting the wave-of-the-future of bulletproof packaging can FTFO with extreme prejudice.
I do not like having a big bad headache and having to do the equivalent of breaching Fort Knox just to get a damn Advil.
The sometimes impenetrable internal bureaucracy that renders impossible getting something real accomplished.
The things causing all my dear blogfriends such terrible pain these past few months -
lost homes
lost family members
cancer (AGAIN)
family stress
- can all fuck the fuck off with molten knobs of fiery death.
My controlling, busybody, evil ass clown of a cousin can fuck off with spiked bells dipped in jalepeno cheese.
And after the last two weeks, I'm thinking most of my family in general can join him.
Fuck my job and the fucking bitch who mismanaged our money so badly I likely no longer have a fucking job.
If I get fired, I'm quitting life and becoming a welfare mom.
CTG - holy shit. That fucking SUCKS. A hearty fuck off to that bitch from me as well!
WV: vocksuff - the incurable ass disease I hope the woman who fucked with CTG's shit gets.
Assucrats who openly apply double standards that clearly favor their own people over the organization can fuck off in a pizza oven with jalepaneos dipped in molten mozarella cheese, while getting smacked with a baseball studded with rusty nails.
CTG, that just plain sucks. Any chance that the mismanaging bitch will get fired as well?
People who, when told they have 30 days to complete something, apparently interpret that as "Whoo hoo! I get to screw around for 29 1/2 days!" and then come to me in an abject panic on that last 1/2 day because they don't have their crap together and they don't know what to do can utterly and totally FTFO.
As Judge Judy and others have said:
"Failure to plan on YOUR part does not constitute a crisis on MY part."
Golden Rule (my insurance) can once again fuck off with a three-inch diameter dowel rod with rusty nails embedded in it, dripping with rancid habanero nacho cheese for giving me, my son's doctor, and FIVE PHARMACIES the run-around on my son's RSV shot.
The deadbeats that don't pay the payday loans they take out can fuck off for stressing my husband out so much that it's all he can do to crash in front of the television as soon as he gets home after a ten to twelve hour day. And his company can fuck off for not letting him have all of the tools he needs to collect from said deadbeats, then punishing him with requiring a second twelve hour day in the week as punishment for not "making guidelines."
And the pain my son's having with teething? Yeah. That can fuck off, too. We just got his acid reflux under control. Poor baby. His first four months (as of today) have been really, terribly uncomfortable for him.
Oh, and I almost forgot: the Dumbocrites who want to reinstate the Fairness Doctrine can fuck off. With talk radio station antennas. And lots and lots of high voltage arcing through their bodies in the hopes that it will shock some logic and true fairness into their tiny, marble sized brains.
People who overplay their hand, time and again, and embody the "I'll show you, fuck me" rule can fuck off with a healthy sprinkling of chunky bird droppings on a freshly cleaned car.
Go cut off your nose to spite your face. Your loss, not mine.
We had roof-repair-banging at my work today, Emily--I feel your headache pain. Plus I had to explain the noise to every customer who came to the register.
I can fuck off for leaving my cell phone at home--because OF COURSE that's when the people who interviewed me called wanting to talk about the position. So I didn't get the message until after they were gone for the day. I'm a total dillweed.
I pretty much second everything on 'Fly's list.
I'm with Ricki. I have a throbbing thumbnail from an attempted assault against child-proof packaging this morning, in which packaging bulldozed its way beneath my nail.
But my big one is for Microsoft, the paranoid overlord that put such stringent protections on my paid-for operating system that it took a full day to find a way to reinstall it onto a new hard drive.
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