People who try to pass off their fuck-ups on to others and won't take responsibility can fuck off. Especially the third fucking time around. Can't name names, but man do I really want to.
And cancer, you make appearances here quite frequently, but this week, I want you to get fucked up the ass so hard, it'll blow you to Saturn. Fucking bastard and the suffering you're inflicting on the people I love. I hate you. HATE YOU.
Cheers. Happy Friday. Kick off the weekend by blowing some steam below.
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I seem to write a lot of fuck offs about bad/stupid/maniac drivers. There are plenty out there.
Today's is for the dipshit (actually, that should be plural, there were several, but this one stood out from the bunch) in the full-size pickup screaming down the freeway doing at least 80, weaving between cars with no turn signal. Listen up, dipshit:
1) It was drizzling and the fucking highway was wet;
2) It was also about 35°, so there are probably patches of ice on the pavement;
3) You're in a fucking pickup truck, which not only is not meant to be driven like a sports car, it has very little weight in the back end (and hence, over the back tires which provide the traction for the back end);
4) The rest of us on the road actually do want to live and not be killed in a fiery crash.
Asshole.
Which reminds me: another fuck off to the dickhead yesterday who almost caused a fiery crash on a city street. There was a stalled car at the stoplight in my lane and several people were trying to get out of the lane. This included said dickhead who jumped out of the line right into the path of a truck/trailer rig. Fortunately for the dickhead and all others nearby, it's a three lane street and the truck managed to swerve safely into the far right lane. Not that it would have been a bad thing to crush the dickhead, but the poor truck driver's paperwork would have sucked.
And CCFOAD yet again. Thoughts and prayers for your loved ones, Emily.
Indeed, CCFOAD, Emily. My thoughts and prayers as well.
Senior management who send out an e-mail that safety is first during the current snow storms, but then refuses to release "key people" for mickey mouse reasons RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A SNOW STORM because they don't want to explain to their senior management why a certain mickey mouse bean counting task is not complete can fuck off with a flaming snow blower up their asses, while getting beat with ski poles in a 10 foot deep snow drift.
This sort of storm wouldn't mean much in some parts of the country, but around here, it's a major issue.
ASSHOLES! So much for "caring", and "standing up" for your people. I hope you noticed that I told my folks to go home WELL BEFORE you decided to close down the building. And that coming in on Friday was totally up to them. All bases are covered anyway, and this job is not worth the life of anyone.
Oh, yeah: Bush did well on the war on terrorism, but his continuous bail out of incompetent corporation executives is ridiculous. Sorry, Mr. President, but you can fuck off for pissing away tax dollars on idiots.
Parents who *ask* their children if they "would like to behave now" when out in public. Let me save you the trouble. The answer is "no" pretty much every time.
Jimmy,
Ha! No kidding. Parents who do not *require* their children to behave while in public can fuck off.
multiple fuck offs ahead:
First, CCFOAD. As Always. I wish it would just quit now.
Second, my employers can ALSO FOAD for decreeing that Christmas Eve is a work and/or vacation day. Yeah. Like anyone's gonna be here.
Third, the fucking puppy can fuck off. I brought her to my office today and she has spent the whole fucking morning growling and barking at things only she can see.
wv:chees, Cheese that's been nibbled by mice
The the dumbass customer at the post office who apparently was under the impression that all he had to do was carry his five or six gift items to the counter and the postal clerk would box them for him.
Half a kudo to the clerk for not slapping him, and for very kindly setting him up at a vacant window and showing how to fold the box and bubble wrap the items for shipment.
But only half a kudo. Dude, can't you at least LOOK like you're trying to be quick and efficient to help the long line of customers, instead of doddering along like you've been working the window for 14 hours straight? (At 8:30 in the morning)
WV: bingus - an idiot customer who thinks the post office will wrap his packages for him.
The asshats that fucked up some gorgeous, armory-reconditioned WWII era rifles by FUCKING SHOOTING FUCKING CORROSIVE AMMO AND NOT FUCKING CLEANING THE FUCKING BARRELS TO FUCKING "PROVE THEY WORK" can still FUCK the FUCK off with the rifles' Cosmoline-covered bayonettes (not a joke with Mosin-Nagants). I wrote about it on my blog last Sunday (http://theantisoma.blogspot.com/2008/12/another-rant.html), but I'm still steamed.
My husband's company can FUCK THE FUCK OFF for paying him a "salary" based on hourly rates for 45 hours a week, paying FUCKING HALF TIME OVERTIME, and DICKING WITH HIS DAYS OFF. We have a small baby, and this DICKING WITH HIS DAYS OFF ALSO DICKS WITH THE BABY'S DOCTOR'S APPONTMENTS SCHEDULE! FUCK THE FUCKING FUCK OFF! MAY YOU BE ASSPLOWED WITH THE FUCKING ENTIRE FUCKING COMPANY-WIDE FUCKING SCHEDULE FUCKING GIVING YOU PAPERCUTS IN YOUR TIGHTER THAN A GNAT'S ASS ANUS! FUCK OFF EVEN MORE WITH RANCID HABANEROS OOZING FUCKING ACID INTO THE FUCKING PAPERCUTS!
My family can also fuck off for making me hate Christmas. I don't need the crap you think I should like because you do (faux-tiger or leopard jackets--eurgh). I don't need the faux religious crap that your "church" that justifies child sexual abuse in my face at any time, much less that day. I don't need the family drama of one aunt resenting everyone else because she thinks her parents didn't love her as much. It's thanks to you people that I dread the holiday season more every year.
And of course, CCFOAD. Or all devolve upon my father.
Jimmy, you could probably generalize that to parents who ask their children stupid, unnecessary, and actually counterproductive questions. As you say, the answer to that question is "no". Further, the fact that the question is even asked gives the kid the idea that behaving is optional, which, sadly, it might be.
As for my own issues, there are just too many to name right now. I think I have some down time coming up, and boy, do I need it.
Heh. Bingus is also one of the puppy's nicknames. A derivation of Bean, actually.
wv: fratin, getting drunk on a Friday night at the college
In an especially bad couple of weeks, in addition to cancer, I'll say miscarriages can fuck off too.
And child killers, too. The news is reporting that the skull found in FL last week is in fact Caylee's.
Florida is creepy.
Aw man, Bill, that sucks bigtime. My condolences.
Expectations may once again fuck off with a pervasive, cancerous ass-fucking. High hopes? Go get fucked.
Novicaine shots that hurt more than the dental procedure can fuck off.
Sorry, it's been awhile, I'm out of practice, so that's all I got.
Tainted Bill reminds me that any complaints I have are too trivial to mention.
But I will mention my 17-yr-old tomcat who meows at night (not in the daytime). He howls like he is suffering the torments of hell, and if you get up to see what's wrong with him he looks innocently up at you, "What?".
Herniated discs can fuck off.
Successful back surgery can unfuck.
On behalf of Emily, CCFOAD!
The weird person at the bookstore (where I work) who gives just about everyone on staff the creeps and pisses us off b/c she doesn't work, can FO. Seriously, the first day I met her was orientation, where the first words out of her mouth were about what days she wanted off, followed by a back-handed compliment about how she "should've done that in college" when I told her what I was studying. Self-obsess much? STFU and get to work, you gnomelike twatwaffle.
I actually *don't* want the customers to FO. Yet. We'll see how I feel after the weekend b/c people might've not wanted to shop in the rain tonight.
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