We missed one last week. Everybody's busy. Well, fuck off to Friday meetings. Not today, last week and next week (and alternate weeks). Thank God it's not every week, I don't think I could take that.

Posting

I totally forgot to post the FFOT over here last week.  I've been posting them both at my blog, The Anti-Soma, and here for a while, and last week I just completely forgot. 

Granted, I was just getting over a monster, week-long migraine, but still.

First, one big HOORAY!!! for my imp.  He's gone 3 weeks without #2 in his pull-up, and has had only two wet ones in the whole week.  Next: big boy underpants!  And he's going to get to choose them.

HOA boards can fuck right the fucking fuckety fuck off.  The ones that aren't thieves are needle-dicked regulation-touting joy-killing fuckwads that hate vets and/or children, and use their "agreement" to try to compensate for a lack of sexual prowess and/or ability.

Trends in higher education can fuck off.  I'm getting the distinct impression that I'm going to have to totally rebuild my class site every semester, while my students are starting the classwork.  I'm also getting the impression that my required class size is going to increase by 10 or 20 slots per class, bringing me up to 70-90 students per semester, without a concomitant raise in pay--or permitted grading turnaround times.

End of semester attitude in some students can fuck off.  You didn't turn this paper in on time the first time, hadn't just had a baby as an excuse (like one of your classmates), so why the fucking FUCK would you think you could just go "Oh, and here's that paper that was due before Spring Break" and have any FUCKING expectation that I would fucking be fucking willing to fucking grade it?  No, your well-earned 0 stays.

Headaches can FTFO.  With cheez.

plagiarists

I caught one of my students plagiarizing.  Not just a little, but pretty egregiously.

Then, she had the solid brass ones to tell me it was my fault that she was failing the class, that I wasn't being fair to her.  Then, she told me she was going to go to my boss with one of her classmates that also has a grudge, and they were going to complain and get my decisions (and grades) overturned.

She can fuck off so hard that five generations on either side of her feel violated.  I did not force her to copy a paper from a website, add the class-required header, remove the works cited, and claim it as her own work.  I did my best on keeping my cool, didn't descend to the invective I was strongly tempted to unleash on her, and pointed out that the university policy both defines and sets the consequences for plagiarism, and that she acknowledged that at the beginning of the semester.

She then got even more outraged and went off again, with more verbal abuse--making sure I knew that she had it far harder in her life (lost her husband at 22--lucky bastard doesn't have to put up with her anymore) than anyone else could possibly  have had, and I had no right to suddenly tell her she'd failed a class she paid money for, and I couldn't possibly prove that she'd cheated because she'd never bought a paper.

No, the stupid cunt took one from a free site, and the whole fucking paper popped up when I searched a sentence that was far beyond her writing skills.

She did shut up when I sent her the link.


Okay, sweetie--let me get a few things off my chest: fuck you.   Fuck you, fuck your threat, fuck your plagiarism, fuck your complete inability to follow the rules of readability.  Fuck your emails with one sentence that was six fucking inches long.  Fuck your emails with no capital letters.  Fuck your use of textspeak in your email.  Fuck your defensiveness, and your attempts to try to turn it back on me as my fault.  Fuck your attempts to bully me into giving you an A for a fucking paper you didn't fucking write.  Fuck you for fucking making me fucking dread fucking opening my fucking email for the past fucking day and a fucking half.  Fuck you for fucking existing, you self-centered, fucking stupid, fucking lazy fucking ass cunt.  I don't fucking care that your fucking cousin died, or that you fucking took in her twelve year old daughter--ask for a fucking extension on the fucking paper, instead of fucking ripping off someone else's fucking work, as well as my fucking time all fucking semester.  I fucking grant fucking extensions in circumstances like that. 

May this be the last straw that boots your fucking worthless fucking lazy fucking self out of college.  And may your children, and any child coming into your care, become fucking sterile so that they can't pass your fucking genetics, or pass on your fucking example to future generations of slackers and thieves.

Judge not.

I'm in a much better mood this morning than I have been the last several Fridays, so invective will be lighter than usual.  But I am seriously cheesed off by the whole debacle about Ann Romney "never having worked a day in her life."

Feminazis can FTFO.  With broken glass and rancid habanero cheez. 

I have actually been told, by radical feminists in grad school, that I was betraying the sisterhood by taking Odysseus's last name when we got married.  I've been told that the only valid choice for me, as a woman, was going on for my PhD (which I don't want), and looking for a full time position in an English department (also don't want), and possibly going into administration (really don't want--I teach because I love teaching, not because that's the hurdle to working in Academia, and admin doesn't have time to teach), because we can't have a man telling us what to do!   I had more than one radical feminist tell me that my hobbies were wrong because they were traditional women's work (wrong--knitting was a man's work while he was watching the sheep). 

So, yeah: Feminazis can FTFO.  Susan B. Anthony would be ashamed of the lot of them.

More Speshul Snowflakes

Too emotionally exhausted by temper tantrum.  Go to my post here for your Friday insanity.

racist idiots

Racism, and the idiots that propagate it--Al Sharpton, Jessee Jackson, and every thug wannabe gangsta I've ever met, no matter what color they are?  Yeah, I mean you--can fuck off so hard their mommas will feel it and slap the dog shit out of them.  When this country goes down, and the sane, rational people of ever color rise up and hunt down your worthless asses, it isn't the white man's fault.  It's yours.  We are getting so fucking sick and tired of being branded as racists (and/or race traitors) because the majority of us don't fucking care for fucking criminal behavior, nor for the fucking criminals that behave that way.  Trayvon Martin, that used to mean you.  George Zimmerman is a perfect example of someone who's seen as non-white (despite having a white father and white name) who got sick of fucking criminals and fucking criminal behavior, and joined a neighborhood watch to do his best to try to curtail it. 

I'm fucking sick of being branded a fucking racist for fucking failing students I've never even fucking seen.  They don't do the work?  They fail the class.  If I've never fucking seen them, how the fuck am I supposed to know they're black?  I've seen white kids with black names, and I've seen white kids that write just like black kids talk. 

I'm really fucking angry because fucking somebody failed those kids, somebody was fucking racist in failing those kids, and the fucking way they went about it, those kids blame me for holding them to the same fucking standards that I fucking hold everybody to.  Not fucking holding some kids to the same fucking standards because, well, they're black (or Hispanic, or whatever), and they've been disadvantaged, and it wouldn't be fair, is fucking racist. 

So, yeah: racism, and the fucking fucktard fuckstick fuckknuckles that propagate it can fuck right the fucking fuckety fuck off.

pests

I fucking HATE those fucking tiny little, black fucking ants that you JUST CAN'T FUCKING KEEP THE FUCKING FUCKETY FUCK OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE!!!  We've sprayed, and sprayed, and fucking sprayed around the foundation, and around the fucking windows, and around everywhere we FUCKING SEE THE LITTLE FUCKERS, AND WE STILL FUCKING CAN'T FUCKING KEEP THEM OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE!!!


I do my best to keep food up off the floor, and off the counters.  Currently, they're being attracted to a few places: the cat's food (which we can't spray near, because while she's the most worthless cat in the world, we love her anyway), where the cat's been crapping on the floor, where the toddlers drop food where I can't fucking reach, even with the wand extender on the vacuum hose (behind the couch, down the vents, etc), and, weirdest of all, the imp's diaper genie.

So, ants.  Ants can fuck off.  With  FUCKING BURNING FUCKING sun lasers focused through fucking magnifying glasses held in the sweaty hands of sadistic little bastards giggling as they send the fucking little fucking pests up in fucking teeny-tiny fucking puffs of fucking smoke.   


I'm really beginning to fucking hate squirrels, too.  We find where they've fucking chewed through the eaves to get into the attic, repair those spots, and the next FUCKING week, those fucking little fucking buck-fucking-toothed fucking rodents have fucking chewed through another fucking spot in the fucking eaves.  And then start fucking chewing on the fucking house in the fucking attic.

So, squirrels.  Squirrels can fuck right the fucking fuckety fuck off.  I fucking wish to God I lived outside city limits so I could start fucking thinning out the fucking population of those fucking fuzzy fucking buck-fucking-toothed fucking rats.  I hate to even fucking imagine the fucking damage they're fucking doing to my fucking house.  


Fucking politicians don't fucking piss me the fuck off nearly as fucking bad as those two fucking types of fucking pests.