Friday, March 23, 2012

pests

I fucking HATE those fucking tiny little, black fucking ants that you JUST CAN'T FUCKING KEEP THE FUCKING FUCKETY FUCK OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE!!!  We've sprayed, and sprayed, and fucking sprayed around the foundation, and around the fucking windows, and around everywhere we FUCKING SEE THE LITTLE FUCKERS, AND WE STILL FUCKING CAN'T FUCKING KEEP THEM OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE!!!


I do my best to keep food up off the floor, and off the counters.  Currently, they're being attracted to a few places: the cat's food (which we can't spray near, because while she's the most worthless cat in the world, we love her anyway), where the cat's been crapping on the floor, where the toddlers drop food where I can't fucking reach, even with the wand extender on the vacuum hose (behind the couch, down the vents, etc), and, weirdest of all, the imp's diaper genie.

So, ants.  Ants can fuck off.  With  FUCKING BURNING FUCKING sun lasers focused through fucking magnifying glasses held in the sweaty hands of sadistic little bastards giggling as they send the fucking little fucking pests up in fucking teeny-tiny fucking puffs of fucking smoke.   


I'm really beginning to fucking hate squirrels, too.  We find where they've fucking chewed through the eaves to get into the attic, repair those spots, and the next FUCKING week, those fucking little fucking buck-fucking-toothed fucking rodents have fucking chewed through another fucking spot in the fucking eaves.  And then start fucking chewing on the fucking house in the fucking attic.

So, squirrels.  Squirrels can fuck right the fucking fuckety fuck off.  I fucking wish to God I lived outside city limits so I could start fucking thinning out the fucking population of those fucking fuzzy fucking buck-fucking-toothed fucking rats.  I hate to even fucking imagine the fucking damage they're fucking doing to my fucking house.  


Fucking politicians don't fucking piss me the fuck off nearly as fucking bad as those two fucking types of fucking pests.

2 comments:

Kate P said...

Ugh, ants and squirrels. Throw in ferrets and you've got a trifecta. Not that I am wishing ferrets on you! I hope those critters start leaving you alone pronto.

This week's FO (for me) goes to the administration who thanked everyone but the LIBRARIAN for helping nearly 50 kids complete a major project that came to fruition this week after over a month of work. That's right, get on the P.A., announce what a great job the students did (which they did), and then thank all the teachers--but don't count the teacher-librarian who gathered all the research materials, guided the research (solo most of the time), and consoled not one, not two, but THREE girls who had meltdowns at various times during the process.

This feeling of being second-class can totally FO.

The Fifth String said...

Oh yeah. Ants suck. So do squirrels. I do my part to pop squirrels with a .22, but ants is tougher with a .22.