I can fuck off for following the whole Casey Johnson/Tila Tequila/Nicky Hilton-rescues-the-dogs saga. I mean, really. What is this? American culture bottoming out? I don't think I've seen a public scandal composed of so many useless, brain-dead people in my life. I can't stop watching it. It's pointless. It's stupid. It's....what we deserve after a decade of "reality" television.
I can also fuck off for what I'm about to write below. Feel free to second that motion if you find my thoughts distasteful, but...
Where did the notion that we're not supposed to speak ill of the dead originate, anyway? Two weeks ago, if I had called Casey Johnson (and yes, unfortunately, I'd heard of her before she died) a cokehead slut of a worthless, spoiled bint, everyone who knew who she was, with few exceptions, would have cheered me on. Now that she's dead, probably having ushered her own demise, I'm supposed to talk about tragedy and act like the minions of Satan swiped an angel from Earth. I know there are the feelings of the family to factor in - but in Johnson's case, we're talking about the enablers that turned her into the selfish, indulgent, incurious twit that only cared about money, parties and undeserved fame. You don't become a creature like that without a little help. This is a girl who got her first Gucci purse at the age of ten. Any sadness I feel for Casey Johnson's passing is only that she wasn't brought up to be a better person and that she arrived to adulthood in this ridiculous age where we award ill-behaved, self-absorbed, vapid shitstains for their idiotic and self-centered attitudes by making them famous. I'm not being naive, here. I know there's always been a seedy underbelly to the jet set and people who make the gossip pages, but never, ever before has it been flaunted so shamelessly until the last few years. "Hi! I'm stupid! I'm selfish! I think I'm awesome! I treat other people like crap! My biggest goal in life is to be drunk by eleven! I literally have no talent, little education, don't know who the Vice President of the United States is and think Nairobi is the name of an energy drink! Take my picture and put me on TV!"
Fuck. Go at it, ya'll. I've got a headache.
14 comments:
I haven't heard about Casey Johnson, but the whole reality TV concept can fuck off and die. I can't stand it. Stupid people as entertainment? I prefer the Gong Show, as bad as that was.
Head colds can fuck off. 'Nuff said.
Otherwise, I got nuttin'.
Not speaking ill of the dead is just a short-term thing. Too close after the death, it just feels too much like "dancing on the grave." Doesn't mean I have to say nice things, I just don't say anything. But that's just me.
Fuck off to meetings. Again.
Reality TV can indeed fuck off and die.
I do have, for once, a huge FUCK YEAH for the ACLU. They actually defended a high school kid who was arrested and charged (and suspended) for wearing a "Nobama" sweatshirt outside a gym where the First Wookie was about to speak during the last campaign season. Way to go, dudes! You got them to drop the charges against the kid!
The mandatory Medicaid marriage penalty tax can fuck the fuck off. Did y'all know that married couples will have to pay $2000 per year more than cohabitating non-marrieds when the government plan is all that's left to buy?
Congress can FUCK the FUCKING FUCK OFF for FUCKING shoving this FUCKING SIX-FUCKING-INCH FUCKING THICK FUCKING SANDPAPER-CONDOM-COVERED FUCKING LEGISLATIVE FUCKING ICE-FUCKING-COVERED FUCKING GLASS FUCKING DILDO of a FUCKING bill up our collective asses.
Listen up, congress fucks: forcing something up someone's ass against their will is fucking forcible sodomy. That makes you fuckleheads no FUCKING better than any other FUCKING rapist currently in prison or in the ground. There are 80,000,000 gun owners in this country, if you count only the law-abiding citizenry. If you also count the criminal element, who also would prefer not to be FUCKING ASS-RAPED by LEGISLATIVE FUCKING FIAT, I suspect that number more than doubles. That's more than a third of this nation's population that would be able and willing to defend themselves from being ass-raped by you fuckstains. By fucking force.
Mark my words. If you fuck stains in congress persist in the attempt to force this up this nation's collective ass--sideways, as you're trying to do, or otherwise--there will be blood in the streets. And you fuckstains will be fully fucking responsible for that. And I'm going to issue a pre-emptive FUCK THE FUCKING FUCK OFF for FUCKING causing a second FUCKING CIVIL FUCKING WAR.
Also, Big Sister Janet Napolitano can FUCK the FUCKITY FUCK OFF! The so-called "security measures" you people inflict on small children and little old ladies did not work like clockwork on Christmas Day to protect the people you've sworn to protect from terrorists--otherwise, that nice, upstanding, young Muslim male wouldn't have smuggled explosive underwear onto his flight and almost succeeded in blowing himself and his flight up. The only way you can honestly say it worked as intended is if you NEVER FUCKING INTENDED IT TO FUCKING STOP FUCKING ISLAMOTARD FUCKING TERRORISTS! Unless and until everyone from every Muslim nation is refused entry into the United States (and yes that includes France) until they gain control of what they claim is only a small, radical fringe minority, the system will not now, and will not ever, work.
May y'all be assplowed by the creature you elected president and that Wookie he's married to, both on a green-powered snowmobile. May the fleas of all the camels in the Middle East infest your camel-fornicating genitals and armpits. May syphilitic sores infest your camel-spooge covered faces. May herpes lesions cover the insides of your camel-felating mouths. And may you sit in sulfur-scented flames for all eternity, with the shame of realizing what you did to your own nation burning worse inside your worthless souls than the lake of fire and brimstone burning the outside.
Like it or not, you work for us. And like it or not, you work for American citizens in America, not global citizens in a Eurotrash society.
November's coming, shitstains. And we're coming for your jobs.
My customers, who hear that there's an inch of snow coming, and treat it like Jesus himself is coming back, and it's our turn to feed him supper.
Milk, Bread and Eggs. Apparently, we gorge on French Toast and survive all blizzards. Fuck off...
There are plenty of reality TV programs of which I am fond - Dirty Jobs, Ace of Cakes, Mythbusters (if you stretch the definition a bit). I bear now ill will regarding the reality TV format. Hell, if I was a TV producer and I could make a popular program with a minimal investment and production? Shit, I'd be all over it.
Rather, I would say fuck off to stupid TV programming. It just happens that reality TV is more susceptible to vapidity since it doesn't generally have scripts. But a format that provides us the awesomeness of Junkyard Wars or Future Weapons is far from fuckoffable, IMHO.
Debilitation colds that take down the entire family can fuck off. We've been dealing with colds and crap for the past two-and-a-half weeks. At some during that time, every single one of us were sick and we overlapped a good bit. The wife is the last and she's finally getting over it.
And fuck off to motherfucking 5-degree mornings with -15 degree wind chills. One of the reasons I live in the Southeast is to not have to deal with this kind of weather. Fucking gorebal warming.
Holy Christ I need to proofread.
Mea culpa for that crap.
Next time I need to not be doing three things at the same time.
HH, is it OK if I develop a bit of a girl-crush on you? 'Cuz your FOs just ROCK and I couldn't possibly say it any better.
I would like to add a fuck off to people who cannot be convinced that they are at fault. When someone believes they are being dumped on, but it is actually their own performance that is bringing down all the crap on them - they just can't get it through their thick fucking skulls.
People who just keep escalating issues, up and up and up, every person telling them the same thing. It's a shame because these kind of people will walk away from the experience cursing those they believed "wronged" them.
If enough people are telling you that you're the one with the fucking problem; you're the one with the fucking problem.
X_LA_Native:
I'm flattered. My husband's intrigued.
I am in awe, HH. I bow in your presence.
Cullen: I'm not sure Dirty Jobs or Ace Of Cakes are reality shows, in the strictest definition of the term. To me, they look more like documentaries with a different perspective, and a different format. But I do see your point.
I am in awe, HH. I bow in your presence.
Cullen: I'm not sure Dirty Jobs or Ace Of Cakes are reality shows, in the strictest definition of the term. To me, they look more like documentaries with a different perspective, and a different format. But I do see your point.
Apologies for the double post -- Blogger did something WEIRD.
Yeah. Blame it on Blogger.
Old man.
(shrug) My feeling with the whole "don't speak ill of the dead" thing is only if you know (knew) the person firsthand. And like Ken said, you let some time pass. But letting out a good "WTF?" while you're reading an article about Casey Johnson is pretty much expected. What a mess.
Every stupid-ass thing that happened this week can fuck off. That includes my key getting stuck in the library door--in lock position--first thing in the morning, a lockdown, all the shit in my "new teacher seminar" that reminds me what a crappy experience I had in school, the snow this morning that made me take the highway that stresses me out. . .
. . . and that whole "Prez will save us all through new security measures" stuff this week. At this rate, I never want to board a plane again.
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