Dear Youtube,
I didn't complain when you started showing commercials before and between some of your videos. I'm getting your services for free, after all. I got peeved when some of the adverts became flashy and oversized, but still held back from groaning. I don't even make a fuss about the sound on some clips being disabled. It's not your fault there are people who think they deserve a fat check every time three notes of their music moves between a pair of human ears. But now you've started putting commercials at the top of your "related videos" that sit on the right sidebar - commercials that are in no way whatsoever related to the feature I happen to be watching. That's stupid. It's low. And with competitors like Hulu on the rise and undoubtedly many more to come, if you keep this shit up, you'll be as irrelevant as AOL in the age of Google.
Fuck off,
Me.
15 comments:
YouTube sounds like it's following the eBay strategy: piss off your customers by nickle and diming them to death.
My turn......
Self-centered, insecure, bureaucratic nanny staters need to find the deepest hole available, fill it full of hot, bubbling cheese, add a generous amount of polonium 210, top it off with layer of the Ebola virus, and then jump in bare naked with a fire hose, connected to a vat of acid, crammed up their ass.
Why I feel this would take too long to discuss. I shall merely state that my feelings are profound and genuine, and leave it at that.
I love your "AOL in the age of Google" comment, and the fact that You Tube is owned by Google makes it poetic. Unfortunately for Hulu, they're probably going to become a subscription service very soon.
My fuck off is minor. Fuck off to auto dealerships that send out those mailers with the keys and the "If it fits, YOU'VE WON!" messages. Most of these I can resist, but not the Challenger. I just want to know if I was that 1:3gagillion guy to win. I don't want to hear your sales pitch.
There's no nickle and diming at Youtube - yet. They're still not charging for regular content. That's why the ads never pissed me off. Why should they pay to host all these videos while we all get to watch for free? Worse than charging, though, is they are being deceptive. I like the "related videos" links they have on the right sidebar. It's a good way to find stuff that's RELATED. But to put adverts that have NOTHING to do with what I just watched under that section? Fuck you, Youtube. Put it at the top of the screen as a commercial, but don't LIE TO ME and claim some movie trailer about a blow-em-up cop movie is "related" to a documentary I just watched about the bubonic fucking plague of the mid-1300s. Assholes.
I gots two today, unrelated ones:
1. Students who can't get their shit together earlier in the semester, who are now freaking out because they realize that they blew off too many assignments to pass, who are now coming to me either:
a. all huffy because they "weren't in class when the assignment was made" (too damn bad. Let this be a lesson to you about over partying)
b. all weepy and sad and begging for extra credit.
Here's a hint for you, chirren: Don't approach a prof asking for extra credit - or for a mulligan - or for a make-up test the week before exam week. The week before exam week is also known as "Professor PMS." You really don't want to be carrying your head (or other body parts) home in a bag.
And for that matter: don't ask for extra credit. Ever.
2. All of the holiday killjoys can FTFO, whether it's the people who break into houses and steal gifts, or people who take baby Jesuses out of nativity displays, or people who sick the HOA on the person whose light display is just a bit too enthusiastic, or people who piss and moan about every calorie in every bite of delicious food on offer, or people who whine about how they "hate" their Aunt Gertrude and can't see why they "have" to buy presents for her.
In the first cases: I hope karma comes back and bites you in the ass for stealing things that are purposely to bring others joy. And in the second case, just STFU for ONE month out of the year, OK?
The one thing I get pissed off about whenever you teachers tell stories about your lazy students is that, at the end of the day, they walk away from their schools with the same piece of paper that I busted my ass for.
a documentary I just watched about the bubonic fucking plague of the mid-1300s.
Cool. Can I find this by putting in "bubonic plague"?
True, Emily. My point (not clearly made) leaned more towards pissing off the customers than it did to any charges.
The one thing I get pissed off about whenever you teachers tell stories about your lazy students is that, at the end of the day, they walk away from their schools with the same piece of paper that I busted my ass for.
Yeah, and then people like me have to re-teach freshman chemistry and explain basic calculations to people who have the same B.S. in chemistry that I do.
Hold the line, Ricki.
Em: some of mine WON'T be. At least not this semester. They may say "D stands for Diploma" but in my book, F stands for Failure and also "you have to F***ing repeat the class."
Oh, and if it brings you any comfort and joy: We rejoice over the ones who do bust their asses for diplomas, and remind ourselves that they are the reason we teach.
Laura,
It starts here.
Jeff,
I figured that's what you meant; I just wanted to clarify how I'm slightly more tolerant about this bullshit when I'm not being charged.
Ricki,
I'm glad that there are positive rewards to your job and happy that I hopefully played a small part in offering them to my professors.
To add to one of Ricki's: "people who break into houses and steal gifts, or people who take baby Jesuses out of nativity displays"
There are even worse. There isn't a corner of Hell hot enough for these pukes
The following are things that can F-off, in chronological order.
1) Myself, for apparently losing my debit card the other day.
2) My bank, for never being open when I'm not at work, and for not having a branch in that city.
3) My secret Santa victim, who only wanted gift cards to fancy resturants.
4) Myself, for getting a full-on cold. Also the rain. Rain rain rain.
5) Publix, for not accepting checks for gift cards or gas cards. In the rain.
6) Publix, for not accepting checks for kleenex and cold syrup without a driver's license. In the rain.
7) Myself, for not having my wallet in my purse. In the rain.
8) My co-workers, for laughing at me when I called (for the second time in a week) for them to check my drawer and see if I'd left it. Rain. Cough. Sneeze.
9) My cat, for hiding my wallet in her nest of my roommate's clothes.
10) Publix, for not believing me when I said I'd be right back with my driver's license. Raaaain.
11) Publix check-out lady for sighing and saying "THIS IS GOING TO TAKE FOREVER" when I whipped out my checkbook. To buy kleenex, cough syrup, and hot chocolate. Seriously, lady? Sniff.
12) Sunpass, for not alerting me to my low balance, oh, 30 dollars ago, and for sending me a notice today that my account had been terminated and I stood to have my license suspended.
13) Myself, again, for not having anything to eat in the house, so I have to go back out. In the rain. Sniff. Cough.
The following are things that can not F-off:
1) My daddy, for answering the phone, hearing me cry, and letting me use his card to fill up my sunpass
2) The nice sunpass man, for answering the phone, hearing me cry, and letting me use my daddy's card to fill up my sunpass.
3) My boyfriend, just because, and even though it's his fault I spent all that money on my sunpass.
4) My bank, for being open late on friday so I could get some cash.
5) Tequila.
Welcome to life as a grownup.
: (
Emily, it never hurts to be clear!
And now I must amplify on my earlier FFO......
Self-centered, insecure, bureaucratic nanny staters who write one report full of lies and assertions on one project, while preparing another report on another project of a similar nature, with the same problems (only more so), WITH TOTALLY DIFFERENT CONCLUSIONS can fuck off with a jalapeno cheese coated 50 megaton nuclear warhead (rigged for remote detonation) shoved up their ass sideways while dancing on a merry go round coated in broken glass.
That is all. Have a nice weekend.
Oh, man--just the mention of youtube and hulu pisses me off b/c I've got students who now like to come into the library on their free periods to watch TV on the computer and veg out. Um, no. Watch TV at home, kids. The occasional short video clip is another story.
The major internet FAIL this morning at school can fuck off. As can the student who bitched at me in these exact words, "Don't we, like, pay people a lot of money so we can have the internet?"
Kid, the first thing wrong with that statement is the word "we."
P.S. I wish I could send you to an inner-city school in Philly so you could see what it's really like to be "deprived."
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