Once again, deadlines that aren't articulated until the day before can fuck off. So can the fucking fuckers who fuck them up (to paraphrase a line that Al Franken got no use from anyway).
The online school my daughter enrolled in two months ago, that was going to be oh, so much better than the local high school, can fuck off with rusty jalapeño-slathered razor blades to the pubic region. Pull your heads out of your goddamn useless asses, you fucking fat-bottomed chairwarmers, and work out your fucking technical issues without automatically flunking every poor kid whose parents were stupid enough to fall for your shit. You're a fucking state agency, you fucklewits! My taxes are PAYING for the worthless possum-shit you pass off as schooling. Now she's two months behind the REAL school down the street, and God only knows if the fucking credits will transfer anyway. Who's going to pay us to home-school her to catch up for the education you fucking dangled in front of her, but refused to actually let her have?
And I can fuck off for forgetting to do anything about the kids' costumes until yesterday, making it necessary to buy pre-made ones at Wal-Mart for a lot more than I wanted to spend, with no guarantee that they'll fit.
A huge "Fuck, yeah!" to the teenager who will be taking them out in the cold to collect tooth-rot (with a cut for big sister, naturally).
Joel, All of those wishy-washy schools can fuck off. I was reading some article by some educational "expert" deriding the public school system and how it "inhibits" children by forcing them to sit in classrooms and learn conventional subjects. He was arguing that children should focus on subjects they're interested in, rather than being taught all that useless stuff like grammar and history and geometry. He was talking about kids as young as 10-11 years old.
Nice case you're making, fuckwit. If I was allowed to study only the things that interested me at that age, I'd have advanced to a PhD-level of expertise in "The A-Team" and PacMan studies. There's a damn good reason we wait until they've grown to adulthood before they get to choose what they study. What a fucking idiot. Poor widdle creatures having their creativity stiffled by learning how to add and spell.
FO to the whole Swine Flu mess, the whole MSM reporting on "every death a public tragedy" (when the seasonal flu kills far more every year - but they're oldsters and not adorable children, so they apparently don't count), and the whole giant balls-up of the vaccine distribution, and Bill Maher for telling people that parents who vaccinate their kids are "stupid" (oh, how I hope he gets the piggie flu), and ALL of it.
And an extra-special big FO to any student who claims to have the swine flu to get out of handing in an assignment on time when they are ACTUALLY NOT SICK. (as I suspect is the case with one person). I can't ask for documentation because doctors are being told they don't have to provide it.
But anyone who claims "swine flu" to avoid doing what they're supposed to do?
I hope you get it. I hope you get it on the very first day of your vacation, and you are sick at home with nonrefundable tickets.
What FUCKING part of FUCKING 1.7 million people FUCKING marching on Washington, D.C., in FUCKING protest of FUCKING mandatory FUCKING Medicaid do you MOTHER-FUCKING ASS-BRAINED, SOCIALIST-LEANING, OBAMA-ASS-EATING idiots not FUCKING understand? WE, THE PEOPLE WHO PUT YOU IN OFFICE, DO NOT WANT FUCKING GOVERNMENT RUN FUCKING HEALTH CARE! It's not like you donkey-fucking geniuses have run the federal fucking postal service into the ground, now, right? It's not like your fucking Cash for Clunkers has crashed and burned spectacularly, right? Or that the fucking "stimulus bills" haven't given the economy a spectacular case of erectile dysfunction? (By the way, Roy Blunt? Yeah, never voting for your ass again.)
And 1900+ FUCKING pages? Of FUCKING TINY FUCKING print in DONKEY-FUCKING legalese? It's almost like you don't want us to know what you're FUCKING shoving up our collective FUCKING ass! That can't be right!
Not to mention, I don't remember one Republican administration that ever tried to shut down FUCKING PMSNBC. Um, you don't want to violate the First Amendment that specifically forbids the FUCKING federal FUCKING government from abridging our God-given right to freedom of speech, do you? Oh, that's right, YOU SHITSTAINS DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE IN THE SAME GOD I DO--YOURS IS THE FUCKING FEDERAL FUCKING GOVERNMENT! YOU FUCKING THINK YOU FUCKING FUCKS ARE GOD! AND THE FUCKING COMMUNIST MESSIAH HAS BEEN FUCKING ELECTED TO THE FUCKING PRESIDENCY! AND YOU FUCKS WANT TO TAKE THOSE "GOD-GIVEN" RIGHTS BACK, SINCE WE'RE SO CLEARLY TOO STUPID TO EXERCISE THEM INTELLIGENTLY!
The entire FUCKING Federal FUCKING Government--all FUCKING 535 FUCKING congressFUCKINGcritters (with fucking few exceptions), the FUCKING president, the FUCKING president's FUCKING SHIT-STAINED cabinet, and FUCKING five of the nine Supreme Court Justices--can fuck off. May the rotten ejaculate of a hundred thousand camels sour in their stomachs while the fleas nest in their genitals. May each and every one who voted to get that 1900+ page monstrosity out of committee and up for a vote have a full, printed out copy rolled up and shoved SIDEWAYS up their asses so hard that they can taste the remains of their dinners from a week earlier. Come on, you slimy, infected, pus-covered, shit-smelling extrusion from Osama bin Ladin's stepmama's twat, you can take it without lubricant. That's how you seem intent on giving it to us.
It's Germany, 1935, all over again. But this time, sane people have nowhere to run.
Oh, and Firefox can fuck off for freezing up while I was writing this. Thank God for copy/paste.
Lying asshat crap weasels who openly LIE in a report, without any proof, and then say, "Well, you have to prove I'm wrong!" can fuck off with a rubber stamp for "FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU ODIOUS FUCKING ASSHAT BUREAUCRAT", dipped in sulphuric acid and rotten tomato sauce.
And a "FUCK YEAH!" to their supervisors who told same lying asshat crap weasels, "Wrong. Rewrite it, and take out the garbage."
Next, the same little lying asshat crap weasels can fuck off with an infected syringe filled with nerve agent for completely ignoring those directions, and stating that they are going to rewrite the report in a similar negative fashion, but using a different slant.
They said this, in private, to my boss, who promptly decided, even more privately, to let them have all of the rope they want. And then we snub it firmly. So, a "FUCK, YEAH!" to my boss.
Think we won't, or can't, snub that rope you lying asshat crap weasels? Think again.
The sense of entitlement our local football fans carry with them can fuck off. To screech on local radio that because you're 3 and 4, it's not worth your time to watch a game?
Fuck. Off.
You know, it's one thing to be a fair-weather fan. I get that. I don't agree with it, but I get that we all live in a busy world, and that it's easier to root for a winner. Like I said, I don't condone, but I get it.
But for Jimmy Joe Buttwipe to start bashing a football team from a college he never could have dreamed of attending, simply because they're having an off year? Where the fuck does that pomposity come from?
Seriously. They're an excuse for you to drink Natty Light on a Saturday, not an ideal that's betrayed you. So Tennessee (or substitute your own local squad in any sport) is having a down year. Support them, or lower your standards a bit. Either way, shut the fuck up. Some of us are Cub fans, and haven't seen a championship in our grandparents' lifetimes. You're making us laugh...
And I'm not going to start on the Titans fans, and those calling for Jeff Fisher's head. There's a whole special brand of Fuck Off for you, and I'm thinking of ordering it from overseas.
Speaking of the World Series, SEPTA can fuck off for threatening to strike this weekend. You are being total douches when you know that the strike will affect only the locals and tourists who just want to get to the park to watch the freaking GAME. This isn't a coincidence, you whiny terrorist babies. How dare you exploit a good thing for the city.
11 comments:
Once again, deadlines that aren't articulated until the day before can fuck off. So can the fucking fuckers who fuck them up (to paraphrase a line that Al Franken got no use from anyway).
The online school my daughter enrolled in two months ago, that was going to be oh, so much better than the local high school, can fuck off with rusty jalapeño-slathered razor blades to the pubic region. Pull your heads out of your goddamn useless asses, you fucking fat-bottomed chairwarmers, and work out your fucking technical issues without automatically flunking every poor kid whose parents were stupid enough to fall for your shit. You're a fucking state agency, you fucklewits! My taxes are PAYING for the worthless possum-shit you pass off as schooling. Now she's two months behind the REAL school down the street, and God only knows if the fucking credits will transfer anyway. Who's going to pay us to home-school her to catch up for the education you fucking dangled in front of her, but refused to actually let her have?
And I can fuck off for forgetting to do anything about the kids' costumes until yesterday, making it necessary to buy pre-made ones at Wal-Mart for a lot more than I wanted to spend, with no guarantee that they'll fit.
A huge "Fuck, yeah!" to the teenager who will be taking them out in the cold to collect tooth-rot (with a cut for big sister, naturally).
Joel,
All of those wishy-washy schools can fuck off. I was reading some article by some educational "expert" deriding the public school system and how it "inhibits" children by forcing them to sit in classrooms and learn conventional subjects. He was arguing that children should focus on subjects they're interested in, rather than being taught all that useless stuff like grammar and history and geometry. He was talking about kids as young as 10-11 years old.
Nice case you're making, fuckwit. If I was allowed to study only the things that interested me at that age, I'd have advanced to a PhD-level of expertise in "The A-Team" and PacMan studies. There's a damn good reason we wait until they've grown to adulthood before they get to choose what they study. What a fucking idiot. Poor widdle creatures having their creativity stiffled by learning how to add and spell.
FO to the whole Swine Flu mess, the whole MSM reporting on "every death a public tragedy" (when the seasonal flu kills far more every year - but they're oldsters and not adorable children, so they apparently don't count), and the whole giant balls-up of the vaccine distribution, and Bill Maher for telling people that parents who vaccinate their kids are "stupid" (oh, how I hope he gets the piggie flu), and ALL of it.
And an extra-special big FO to any student who claims to have the swine flu to get out of handing in an assignment on time when they are ACTUALLY NOT SICK. (as I suspect is the case with one person). I can't ask for documentation because doctors are being told they don't have to provide it.
But anyone who claims "swine flu" to avoid doing what they're supposed to do?
I hope you get it. I hope you get it on the very first day of your vacation, and you are sick at home with nonrefundable tickets.
Because I do not like being taken advantage of.
What FUCKING part of FUCKING 1.7 million people FUCKING marching on Washington, D.C., in FUCKING protest of FUCKING mandatory FUCKING Medicaid do you MOTHER-FUCKING ASS-BRAINED, SOCIALIST-LEANING, OBAMA-ASS-EATING idiots not FUCKING understand? WE, THE PEOPLE WHO PUT YOU IN OFFICE, DO NOT WANT FUCKING GOVERNMENT RUN FUCKING HEALTH CARE! It's not like you donkey-fucking geniuses have run the federal fucking postal service into the ground, now, right? It's not like your fucking Cash for Clunkers has crashed and burned spectacularly, right? Or that the fucking "stimulus bills" haven't given the economy a spectacular case of erectile dysfunction? (By the way, Roy Blunt? Yeah, never voting for your ass again.)
And 1900+ FUCKING pages? Of FUCKING TINY FUCKING print in DONKEY-FUCKING legalese? It's almost like you don't want us to know what you're FUCKING shoving up our collective FUCKING ass! That can't be right!
Not to mention, I don't remember one Republican administration that ever tried to shut down FUCKING PMSNBC. Um, you don't want to violate the First Amendment that specifically forbids the FUCKING federal FUCKING government from abridging our God-given right to freedom of speech, do you? Oh, that's right, YOU SHITSTAINS DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE IN THE SAME GOD I DO--YOURS IS THE FUCKING FEDERAL FUCKING GOVERNMENT! YOU FUCKING THINK YOU FUCKING FUCKS ARE GOD! AND THE FUCKING COMMUNIST MESSIAH HAS BEEN FUCKING ELECTED TO THE FUCKING PRESIDENCY! AND YOU FUCKS WANT TO TAKE THOSE "GOD-GIVEN" RIGHTS BACK, SINCE WE'RE SO CLEARLY TOO STUPID TO EXERCISE THEM INTELLIGENTLY!
The entire FUCKING Federal FUCKING Government--all FUCKING 535 FUCKING congressFUCKINGcritters (with fucking few exceptions), the FUCKING president, the FUCKING president's FUCKING SHIT-STAINED cabinet, and FUCKING five of the nine Supreme Court Justices--can fuck off. May the rotten ejaculate of a hundred thousand camels sour in their stomachs while the fleas nest in their genitals. May each and every one who voted to get that 1900+ page monstrosity out of committee and up for a vote have a full, printed out copy rolled up and shoved SIDEWAYS up their asses so hard that they can taste the remains of their dinners from a week earlier. Come on, you slimy, infected, pus-covered, shit-smelling extrusion from Osama bin Ladin's stepmama's twat, you can take it without lubricant. That's how you seem intent on giving it to us.
It's Germany, 1935, all over again. But this time, sane people have nowhere to run.
Oh, and Firefox can fuck off for freezing up while I was writing this. Thank God for copy/paste.
Amen and ditto to ALL that, HH!
I send a fax a day to at least fifty of the fuckers.
I will not stand quietly.
Rain can fuck off. Jeebus nature, this is getting ridiculous.
I bow to HH in awe.
And in total agreement.
Lying asshat crap weasels who openly LIE in a report, without any proof, and then say, "Well, you have to prove I'm wrong!" can fuck off with a rubber stamp for "FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU ODIOUS FUCKING ASSHAT BUREAUCRAT", dipped in sulphuric acid and rotten tomato sauce.
And a "FUCK YEAH!" to their supervisors who told same lying asshat crap weasels, "Wrong. Rewrite it, and take out the garbage."
Next, the same little lying asshat crap weasels can fuck off with an infected syringe filled with nerve agent for completely ignoring those directions, and stating that they are going to rewrite the report in a similar negative fashion, but using a different slant.
They said this, in private, to my boss, who promptly decided, even more privately, to let them have all of the rope they want. And then we snub it firmly. So, a "FUCK, YEAH!" to my boss.
Think we won't, or can't, snub that rope you lying asshat crap weasels? Think again.
Go ahead. Make my day.
The sense of entitlement our local football fans carry with them can fuck off. To screech on local radio that because you're 3 and 4, it's not worth your time to watch a game?
Fuck. Off.
You know, it's one thing to be a fair-weather fan. I get that. I don't agree with it, but I get that we all live in a busy world, and that it's easier to root for a winner. Like I said, I don't condone, but I get it.
But for Jimmy Joe Buttwipe to start bashing a football team from a college he never could have dreamed of attending, simply because they're having an off year? Where the fuck does that pomposity come from?
Seriously. They're an excuse for you to drink Natty Light on a Saturday, not an ideal that's betrayed you. So Tennessee (or substitute your own local squad in any sport) is having a down year. Support them, or lower your standards a bit. Either way, shut the fuck up. Some of us are Cub fans, and haven't seen a championship in our grandparents' lifetimes. You're making us laugh...
And I'm not going to start on the Titans fans, and those calling for Jeff Fisher's head. There's a whole special brand of Fuck Off for you, and I'm thinking of ordering it from overseas.
Philly agrees with you, Emily!!!
Speaking of the World Series, SEPTA can fuck off for threatening to strike this weekend. You are being total douches when you know that the strike will affect only the locals and tourists who just want to get to the park to watch the freaking GAME. This isn't a coincidence, you whiny terrorist babies. How dare you exploit a good thing for the city.
This day can also fuck off. With extreme prejudice. And chainsaws. And jalapeno-studded cheeze covered knobs.
I'm gonna go have a scotch, now. I think I've earned something.
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