Friday, September 18, 2009

Repeat after me. "Pedestrians."

The dumbass who almost ran me over last night because he wasn't paying attention, despite the fact that his gray hair hinted that his driving years should have, by now, acquainted him with the concept of "pedestrians" can FUCK OFF.

Every other dumbass who distracts themselves with their fucking phones or stereos or any other gadget instead of watching the road can FUCK OFF. For fuck's sake, we survived as a species for thousands and thousands of years without telephones, and now we cannot even manage to go twenty minutes without using one?

And no, this is not a generational thing. People of all ages have come dependent on gadgets and technology that they could easily survive without. I love me my technological toys, but come on. I can manage to put them down from time to time.

10 comments:

ricki said...

YES. THAT. Any idiot who gets into a car wreck because they "bent down to get the cell phone they dropped" (as the reason given for a car wreck near here) can FO with extreme prejudice.

People who endanger my life because they are fools who cannot part from the mundane conversations they are having via text while they drive can FTFO with a vat of moldy cheese and a couple of Lithium ion batteries.

Paying attention to the important things: it's becoming a lost art.

***

Another one: students who come into lab class, spend 1/2 hour of it giggling and chatting, and then in the LAST FIFTEEN FRICKING MINUTES OF CLASS, when EVERYONE ELSE is done and gone, realize they don't know what the frack they are doing and require copious amounts of help because they weren't paying attention earlier, can FTFO.

As can overly-nice TAs who say, "Oh, let them stay late and finish." Yeah, great. When they get out into the workforce let them try that kind of crap. They'll learn then.

WV: "skyroses." Now that's just weird.

Tommy said...

The douchenozzle who wander into my store, decides to steal muffins and throws a tantrum complete with the phrase "I am an attorney..."

Another week, I might find it funny. This one, it's just a waste of what little time I have....

JeffS said...

I hears ya, Emily. But what really sucks is when your office EXPECTS you to answer that cell phone, and you HAVE to, because they decided you can't be trusted to make decisions, even though you are the person on the spot doing the work. Thus, the cell phone becomes a ball and chain.

And that's my problem. No answer cell, no get work done. I do my damnedest to avoid the oblivious driver routine, up to and including pulling over. But when you tell them, "I'm driving, keep it short", they utterly ignore it.

This IN SPITE of regulations that say "No driving and using the cell phone".

This is why I turn my cell off now and then.

So FUCK OFF with a flaming pogo stick to instant communications, which really means that someone stuck a wire up my ass.

I love my tech toys as well (I'm known as "Mr. Gadget"), but this is FUCKING ridiculous.

Oh, yeah.......anal procurement policies can fuck off with a HUGE RUBBER DUCK dipped in toxic salsa sauce. JUST. FUCK. OFF. A job that was easy peasey 5 years ago is a nightmare today. JUST. FUCK. OFF. AND. DIE. IMMEDIATELY.

PS: Obama and his 'bots can fuck off with Neville Chamberlain's toothbrush. Between his domestic and foreign policies, we'll end up envying Zimbabwe.

Heroditus Huxley said...

Barack Obama and his commune of rabidly stupid congresscritters who support his evil ideals of socialism and socialized medicine can fuck off with a communal barbed-wire wrapped dildo used first by Barney Frank, then by Perez Hilton for trying to bring the same type of "care" England has here.

Britian and its socialized medicine can fuck off for killing premature infants born before 23 weeks through refusing care on the grounds that it's too expensive (I blogged about that on Tuesday).

1.7 MILLION people marched on FUCKING D.C. last Saturday. That's 1.3 MILLION MORE people than made up the fucking "Million Man March." Get it through your FUCKING six-inch thick FUCKING skulls covering that FUCKING pea you call a FUCKING brain: WE, THE PEOPLE, DO NOT WANT THIS SHIT FORCED DOWN OUR THROATS! MORE THAN TWO-THIRDS OF DOCTORS DO NOT WANT TO WORK UNDER A SOCIALIZED SYSTEM. You FUCKING slimy, FUCKING SHIT-CRUSTED, FUCKING NASTY enema hoses in FUCKING D.C. had BETTER FUCKING LISTEN TO YOUR FUCKING CONSTITUENTS. We PUT your FUCKING self-centered, FUCKING power hungry, FUCKING lame brained, FUCKING cursed with FUCKING selective FUCKING hearing asses in FUCKING office. YOU fucking shitstained rusty-hanger purveyors work for US. AND WE WILL FUCKING PUT YOUR FUCKING DIARRHEA SLIMED FUCKING CARCASSES OUT OF FUCKING OFFICE, PEACEFULLY OR OTHERWISE, IN 2010.

It'll be a cold day in hell before I'll bend over and spread to have a Medicaid plan forced up my ass again.

X_LA_Native said...

::stands::
*claps loudly and long*

Amen, HH. Amen.

The Fifth String said...

Damn, HH. I think you may have made Val sprout hair on his palms.

JeffS said...

It'll be a cold day in hell before I'll bend over and spread to have a Medicaid plan forced up my ass again.

Amen.

TW: unfuser. That's our HH!

Julie said...

This may seem trivial, but it just PISSES ME OFF:
The America's Got Talent voters can Fuck the Fuck off. How in the world could a guy who CAN'T CARRY A TUNE IN A BUCKET win over a woman who sings like an angel? My mantra this week has been, "Kevin Skinner. I just don't get it. Kevin Skinner! I just don't get it. (headshake) WTF?" Did a whole bunch of people think it would be funny to vote for a no-talent chicken catcher from Bum Fuck Tennessee? Or was it a fix? I'm just incredulous.
And fuck off to me for getting emotionally invested in this show every year.

OH, and one more thing:
Fuck off to the stupidass sparrow who flew into my house this morning and wouldn't leave. The neighbors (had they been up at 6 am) would have thought I was batshit crazy, chasing this motherfucking bird around my living room, swatting it with a broom and shouting, "I NEED TO BE ON A CONFERENCE CALL AT 7, YOU STUPID BIRD! GET OUT!" But it would NOT leave.
So I left for work and let the dog and cats deal with it.
And now, returning home, I know there is something worse than having a wild bird in your house:
It's having a wild bird in your house but having NO CLUE as to where exactly it is...
(the varmints are strangely mum on the subject....)
So now I'm praying, "Lord, the song says your eye is on the sparrow... Can ya tell me where the little guy IS? :)
Have a good weekend, y'all!

punishyourma said...

Fuck off to this monumental asshole. I'm glad the police caught the bastard. Good work on their part. I literally live so close to where this happened that, were I not zonked out on sleeping pills, I would have heard that poor woman scream.

I hope she comes out of this okay.

The Fifth String said...

Amen, Emily. I hope the bastard fries. Same for this scumsucking prick and the bitch he calls a wife. Rot in Hell, fuckers.