Yeah, the fact that pets live so much shorter than we do can FTFO.
Death can FTFO.
***
And the ones from my life for this week:
1. Clueless helpless people - the kind who couldn't find their own bums with both hands AND a GPS unit can FTFO. Because there are so many of them and only one of me.
2. Energy vampires can FTFO. Look, I don't care that your life is one giant whirlpool of drama, I do not want to be sucked into your vortex.
3. People who make random comments that make me go "WTF?" in the middle of a class can FTFO. Yes, I know all about "poor filters" and Tourette's and stuff but in this case I think it's just someone being a douchebag and thinking he's cute.
4. Likewise, people who SIGH HEAVILY and flop their emo emo hair all around every time you ask them to do something. Good grief, I am not telling you to march 20 miles through the desert wearing a 40 pound backpack. Get over yourself already.
Once again my psycho bitch ex can fuck off for demanding - for the fourth year in a row - that I drive my son twice as far to drop him off with her mother, instead of our agreed-upon meeting place.
Slow, cumbersome computer systems that the management is thrilled with because they looked good in the sales brochures can fuck off with molten silicon-encrusted knobs.
Three-digit temperatures during county fair week can fuck off.
And speaking of the fair, Fair Board members who actually fucking lie to the newspaper about things like admission prices and schedules can fuck off and die in a pile of hundred-degree cow flop. Was it really worth it to sabotage the fair guide book just because you have some fucking private grudge against someone at the newspaper?
Bureaucrats around the world can fuck off. No particulars today, just a resignation to their blighted but continued existance.
Congress -- Fuck. Off. And. Die. With extreme prejudice. Because the majority of you are asshat oligarchs, more interested in kissing the asses of your supporters.....who are usually NOT your constituents.
This is a REPUBLIC, dickheads. R. E. P. U. B. L. I. C. The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Not some Third World shithole. As per Red Skelton in his famous Pledge Of Allegiance, we are a republic, where "Government is from the people to the leaders. Not from the leaders to the people."
You want to ignore that, and hide from your voters with stacked town halls and teleconferences? Fuck you. Fuck. You. FUCK YOU.
Asshat coworkers who can't teach students how to pour piss out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel, but who utter flatulence like "But, by God, my students can write a thesis statement," can fuck the fuck off. YOUR STUDENTS CAN WRITE A THESIS STATEMENT AFTER I'M DONE WITH THEM, TWATBREATH! They come to me lacking in pretty much everything that makes a good paper EXCEPT touchy-feely creativity.
Oh, and your assertion that Fox News isn't a credible news source because it doesn't match up to your extreme transnational progressivist views can fuck off, too.
Seriously, you shouldn't detest me because I'm a better teacher than you. What you should be doing is trying to figure out what the fuck it is that I'm doing to get students actually engaged, and how I manage to come up with new and interesting ways to teach them what they need to know, rather than trying to use the surface elements of what I'm doing without understanding the base it's built on.
Thank GOD the department head knows you're trying to maneuver your way into his seat, and isn't having any of it.
Ditto, JeffS. Congress can FTFO. So can Joel's ex-harpy.
All off the shitstain pukes in Libya giving the Lockerbie bomber a hero's welcome can fuck off, die, then come back to life so they can die twice. Painfully. You're barely human, you fucking ass licking douchenozzles.
Sorry to hear that MM, I think I will have to do the same early next week. It can definitely fuck off.
I think it's only the second time I've seen it around here, but the whole "wear your pants below your ass and show your boxers" thing can truly fuck off. I try not be that middle-aged guy who goes around thinking "get a haircut", but that one really tries my patience.
On the plus side, the dude is not likely to try and pull anything stupid. My now old and limping dog has a better chance of fucking running from the police.
Dave, I actually saw a guy trip while trying to run with his pants like that. I tried really hard to stifle the laughter.
My hit list:
--Death. I'm with Ricki, and I'm sorry, Maggie May & Dave. Yesterday was the 20th anniv. of my grandmother's passing. That miserable summer can fuck off, too.
--Maintenance work that affects the whole building. Don't post a memo saying you're shutting off the water around 10 a.m. and then shut it off at 9:02. While I'm in the shower. 58 minutes prior is NOT "around." Homeowners wait around for contractors, but nooooo, let's screw with four floors of tenants nice 'n' early.
--Being taken advantage of, especially via passive-aggressive techniques. "I'm going to stay upstairs [i.e. not going to help you] because I have other things I have to get done." As if I can order you to help me. One week of this BS to go.
--Anxiety that won't let me sleep. Arrrrgh.
WV: "dedly" Nope, Blogger is not smarter than a fourth grader.
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
SERIOUSLY. DO I NEED TO PAINT IT ON MY FACE?
ARRRRRGH.
Also, Dear Kittens: Next time you decide to break a lot of glass and ceramic in the middle of the night, please choose somewhere else to do it besides directly in front of my bedroom door. My feet and I thank you.
(Mom, where'd you get that photo frame you had that really disturbing picture of Bonnie in? We, um, need another one. And Nessie has a few battle scars now.)
13 comments:
Having to decide to have your dog put down can fuck the fuck off extra hard. est in peace, Magic, girl.
I mean REST. Great, now I can fuck off too.
Yeah, the fact that pets live so much shorter than we do can FTFO.
Death can FTFO.
***
And the ones from my life for this week:
1. Clueless helpless people - the kind who couldn't find their own bums with both hands AND a GPS unit can FTFO. Because there are so many of them and only one of me.
2. Energy vampires can FTFO. Look, I don't care that your life is one giant whirlpool of drama, I do not want to be sucked into your vortex.
3. People who make random comments that make me go "WTF?" in the middle of a class can FTFO. Yes, I know all about "poor filters" and Tourette's and stuff but in this case I think it's just someone being a douchebag and thinking he's cute.
4. Likewise, people who SIGH HEAVILY and flop their emo emo hair all around every time you ask them to do something. Good grief, I am not telling you to march 20 miles through the desert wearing a 40 pound backpack. Get over yourself already.
Holy crap, it's Friday. I plumb forgot too. Fuck off to me.
WV: glomfi - I'm not sure exactly what it's supposed to mean but I suspect it has something to do with Emos.
Once again my psycho bitch ex can fuck off for demanding - for the fourth year in a row - that I drive my son twice as far to drop him off with her mother, instead of our agreed-upon meeting place.
Slow, cumbersome computer systems that the management is thrilled with because they looked good in the sales brochures can fuck off with molten silicon-encrusted knobs.
Three-digit temperatures during county fair week can fuck off.
And speaking of the fair, Fair Board members who actually fucking lie to the newspaper about things like admission prices and schedules can fuck off and die in a pile of hundred-degree cow flop. Was it really worth it to sabotage the fair guide book just because you have some fucking private grudge against someone at the newspaper?
Bureaucrats around the world can fuck off. No particulars today, just a resignation to their blighted but continued existance.
Congress -- Fuck. Off. And. Die. With extreme prejudice. Because the majority of you are asshat oligarchs, more interested in kissing the asses of your supporters.....who are usually NOT your constituents.
This is a REPUBLIC, dickheads. R. E. P. U. B. L. I. C. The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Not some Third World shithole. As per Red Skelton in his famous Pledge Of Allegiance, we are a republic, where "Government is from the people to the leaders. Not from the leaders to the people."
You want to ignore that, and hide from your voters with stacked town halls and teleconferences? Fuck you. Fuck. You. FUCK YOU.
Sorry to hear about the pooch, Maggie. It's so painful to say good-bye to the little dears.
WV: intium. I got nothing for that.
Asshat coworkers who can't teach students how to pour piss out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel, but who utter flatulence like "But, by God, my students can write a thesis statement," can fuck the fuck off. YOUR STUDENTS CAN WRITE A THESIS STATEMENT AFTER I'M DONE WITH THEM, TWATBREATH! They come to me lacking in pretty much everything that makes a good paper EXCEPT touchy-feely creativity.
Oh, and your assertion that Fox News isn't a credible news source because it doesn't match up to your extreme transnational progressivist views can fuck off, too.
Seriously, you shouldn't detest me because I'm a better teacher than you. What you should be doing is trying to figure out what the fuck it is that I'm doing to get students actually engaged, and how I manage to come up with new and interesting ways to teach them what they need to know, rather than trying to use the surface elements of what I'm doing without understanding the base it's built on.
Thank GOD the department head knows you're trying to maneuver your way into his seat, and isn't having any of it.
Ditto, JeffS. Congress can FTFO. So can Joel's ex-harpy.
All off the shitstain pukes in Libya giving the Lockerbie bomber a hero's welcome can fuck off, die, then come back to life so they can die twice. Painfully. You're barely human, you fucking ass licking douchenozzles.
Sorry to hear that MM, I think I will have to do the same early next week. It can definitely fuck off.
I think it's only the second time I've seen it around here, but the whole "wear your pants below your ass and show your boxers" thing can truly fuck off. I try not be that middle-aged guy who goes around thinking "get a haircut", but that one really tries my patience.
On the plus side, the dude is not likely to try and pull anything stupid. My now old and limping dog has a better chance of fucking running from the police.
Dave, I actually saw a guy trip while trying to run with his pants like that. I tried really hard to stifle the laughter.
My hit list:
--Death. I'm with Ricki, and I'm sorry, Maggie May & Dave. Yesterday was the 20th anniv. of my grandmother's passing. That miserable summer can fuck off, too.
--Maintenance work that affects the whole building. Don't post a memo saying you're shutting off the water around 10 a.m. and then shut it off at 9:02. While I'm in the shower. 58 minutes prior is NOT "around." Homeowners wait around for contractors, but nooooo, let's screw with four floors of tenants nice 'n' early.
--Being taken advantage of, especially via passive-aggressive techniques. "I'm going to stay upstairs [i.e. not going to help you] because I have other things I have to get done." As if I can order you to help me. One week of this BS to go.
--Anxiety that won't let me sleep. Arrrrgh.
WV: "dedly" Nope, Blogger is not smarter than a fourth grader.
I realize this is a day late, but oh well.
Dear Entire Rest of the Universe,
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
SERIOUSLY. DO I NEED TO PAINT IT ON MY FACE?
ARRRRRGH.
Also, Dear Kittens: Next time you decide to break a lot of glass and ceramic in the middle of the night, please choose somewhere else to do it besides directly in front of my bedroom door. My feet and I thank you.
(Mom, where'd you get that photo frame you had that really disturbing picture of Bonnie in? We, um, need another one. And Nessie has a few battle scars now.)
Wal-Mart. And it was very cheap.
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