Because this entire week has been Full. Of. Fail. and I can't tell if it's my fault in some way, or if it's just been a crappy week:
- miscommunication leading to people being angry with me over little piddly crap
- plagiarists (again)
- people apparently being rude to a disabled student I have in one of my classes.
- a couple in one of my classes who canNOT stop their ongoing stream of "you're smoopy!" "No, you're smoopy!" for more than five effing minutes at a time even though I keep stopping and glaring at them.
- my neighborhood has suddenly become loud, affecting both my sleep and relaxation time
- all the shit going on in government and the outside world.
- the horrible sense I have that we're all dancing on the foredeck of the Titanic as an iceberg comes into view.
It can all FTFO. All the rude selfish people who think rules shouldn't apply to them because they are more specialer than the rest of us can FTFO. The weather can FTFO.
Ricki, the entire week can FO. It ain't you, and I endorse your FFOT comment without reservation. Just read on to see what happened this week in my life at work....
First, an exec-YOU-tive summary of what I'm thinking about:
+ A senior executive directs my boss to "close out" a problem in 3 days. This is something of a problem because it involves several local, state, and federal agencies, plus two private land owners. The senior executive was described as "His head looked like a pimple that was ready to pop". The fact that he was briefed on the plan to close out the matter months ago mattered not at all.
+ I was working directly with the local office of a federal agency for regulatory compliance on a certain matter. We had a major meeting scheduled next week. On Monday, I was informed that the national corporate office was talking to the national headquarters of the same agency on a similar matter. They had developed a plan for this matter, but never bothered to tell anyone what they were doing. They heard had about our upcoming meeting, and went ballistic, primarily because we went against the national corporate plan that we were never advised of. So, everything was canceled (including a critical meeting next week), and everyone (from our local CEO to our local crop of territorial asshats) was angry and/or agitated because I had Done Something Wrong. My boss had to brief the CEO about the entire program (a program that he specifically told me he didn't give a damn about). A big meeting was held back east on Wednesday as result. Oddly enough, IMMEDIATELY after that meeting*, the formerly angry CEO sent out an e-mail authorizing our local plans, and praising us for "being innovative" and "taking the initiative". And, yes, that CEO knew all about our local plans a long time ago. I briefed him myself. Now we have to revive the canceled meetings, and hope that we haven't lost any momentum.
And so on, ad nauseum. So here's my FFOT comment:
The FUCKING asshats who FUCKING think they are FUCKING expert in every FUCKING matter that impacts our FUCKING organization, and operate on either not FUCKING talking to us worker bees or FUCKING ignoring us worker bees because they are too FUCKING arrogant, self-centered, narrowed minded and inflexible can FUCKING well fuck off every FUCKING day of their FUCKING lives while getting smacked on their FUCKING empty skulls with a FUCKING titanium clue bat dipped in raw sewage, covered with sprinkles and stars, six times a FUCKING day, and four times at night.
Thank you. I feel much better now.
==== *: I would have paid good money to be a fly on the wall at that meeting!!!
ricki, JeffS - the motion is seconded and carried. Boy was there a bumper crop this week...
* The Senate's slavery apology. Yeah, real timely. Hell, you waited this long, why not wait for the 150th anniversary of the firing on Fort Sumter? You can have a little ceremony and everything, and medical staff on hand to treat all the shoulders you sprain patting yourselves on the collective back. Jackholes. "Apology" means taking responsibility for something, so here's a radical thought - apologize for Jim Crow. At least some of you fossilized turds ARE actually responsible for that. Is there even a complete set of balls among the entire Senate to do that?
* All the bastards causing pain to all of my blogfriends everywhere. It's like they held a march and a big meet-and-greet, and coordinated all the misery they would be visiting on everyone I know. Little shitlickers. Is it really so great being such fucknuts that you have to gift the world with your fucknuttery? If you hate happiness so much, save it for people who would actually enjoy and treasure it, and keep your cruelties, both petty and large, to yourselves.
* Locally, the visitors from Nebraska, wandering our streets aimlesly at 1:15 am. I tried - really I did - tried my best to give them the benefit of the doubt. They meandered along. "Eh, poor guys are lost." They found the drive-thru. "Must be tough finding something open." They took fifteen minutes to order. "It's already late, the extra time won't make a difference." They put their SUV in reverse and started closing in. "Uhm... OK, honk and all, but it's cool, you stopped."
They paid, they left; I paid, I left. All's well - UNTIL I see the SUV sitting in the exit ramp, and this corn-pone, cracker-ass sheep kisser is standing outside the passenger door, taking a long, leisurely whiz next to the four-lane divided highway. Really, asshole? For true? You think that the sapling they planted three weeks ago is that much cover? It's the size and width of a fucking wiffle bat. You're in the parking lot of a fucking all-night fast-food joint, next to a primary regional highway! It's a fucking race to the bottom between your tiny wanker and your tinier brain, and I gotta say, my money is on a fucking photo finish. It's a super-sized Fuck the Fuck OFF, you disgusting inbred mouth-breathers, with special sauce-lettuce-cheese-et-fucking cetera, right between your two all-beef patties.
Gah. I didn't realize it was Friday, either, until the FFOT updated on my bloglist over at The Anti-Soma. My excuse is the usual: teething, baby deciding he had to get up at 6:30 to eat, but refusing to go back to sleep when he was done (he usually does go back to sleep for another two-three hours).
Oh, and I can fuck off for not having the patience to wait on it when one of our favorite gun shops got in a good condition Mosin-Nagant carbine rifle. In my defense, that's the first one that I've found, in about a year of serious looking, that hasn't had the barrel corroded by fuckleheads not cleaning the rifle (and/or not knowing the Windex trick for neutralizing the corrosive agents) after shooting WWII surplus ammo through it. After May's nasty storm that left us out of power for a week, and with a few thousand dollars of damage, we didn't need to have spent that $120. Therefore, I can fuck off.
My ex can fuck off with flaming skewers through the few sensitive areas she possesses, for once again arranging things so that my son has to spend Father's Day with his stepfather instead of his father. She can't erase me completely, but by God, she can try. Every fucking year there's a different excuse.
And she can doubly fuck off for insinuating herself into my family by marrying my cousin, so that I can't even talk about my frustration anywhere that my family might read it. These are the people who are supposed to be on my side, but she managed to marry my cousin, so now they're her family who sort of know who I am. Vicious, manipulative shitstain that she is.
Crap, Joel, every time you bring up that woman, it's something worse. I can't remember the last time I've wanted to kick someone's ass so bad. What a BITCH.
I have another one -- people who cannot GET TO THE FUCKING POINT can FUCK OFF. Four times today, I've taken phone calls from idiots who spent twenty minutes explaining something that could have been made clear in TWO. I don't know about everyone else, but I do not have the fucking TIME to spend hours on the phone hearing irrelevant details that have nothing to do with me or what I need to get the job done. You are supposed to be professionals and know what information I need. Give it to me and NOTHING ELSE. I don't need to hear about anything but. I have other people to tend to and more important things to do than to listen to you babble endlessly.
Oh, and for some reason lately, it seems like every other person I talk to is in the top twenty most inarticulate motherfuckers on Earth. I don't expect everyone I deal with to be a fucking dazzling orator of public speaking proportions, but you are fucking adults. You should be able to string sentences together in a way which other adults can understand you. FUCK! It's not that hard.
WV: broske. What I want to do to Joel's ex-wife and the other douchewads referenced above.
Eh. Not a bad week. Meaningless paperwork that nobody reads can fuck off. Tired of covering somebody else's ass. If the only reason to do it is so that you won't get in trouble for not doing it, then it's a waste of time....
My only real ffot is companies that I would like to have service turned on through wanting my SSN. On the phone or online. Um...no. Yes, I understand you need a background check. I also know that this can be done through other means than a SSN. If you can't accomodate other options, neither can I. Amazing how that works, isn't it?
I am humbled by the magnitude of the fuckwittery that has evovled in your lives since last Friday.
Nothing much here, more of the same. Sister Dear has purchased a Ford Saleen somethingorother muscle car convertible and has stated that, "I haven't ever turned on the stereo, I just like to listen to the engine."
That is pure fucking unadulterated asshole rodeo right fucking there. Fuck you, twatstress.
If she turns on the radio? She will hear the sound of me puking.
I agree with Ricki: this week can FTFO. -My boss's Granny died -My coworker's dog-thats-more-like-a-child died -two coworkers were in the hospital -my ex was in the hospital And to top it all off, in our Worlds Most Boring Conference Call (TM) this morning with about 100 people from around the country listening, the Department Idiot (not me) actually used the term "Chinese Fire Drill".
The only good thing about this week? It's over!
appropriate wv: tragi That sure describes this week: not quite "tragic", but close.
Julie, I hate hate hate hate hate HATE those humongous phone conferences. HATE. I give thanks to any and all deities that video phones are a rarity, so the twat waffles running the circus can see me yawning. They are a waste of time, even if you have a sharp moderator. Invariably, I wear a headset and surf the INTERNET. Or do e-mail. ANYTHING but listen to some pompous blowhard pontificate over the phone. Bleah!
Joel, I thought my ex was a royal bitch. I stand corrected, and offer a prayer for you. That is beyond disgusting.
16 comments:
Either this whole week can FO, or I can.
Because this entire week has been Full. Of. Fail. and I can't tell if it's my fault in some way, or if it's just been a crappy week:
- miscommunication leading to people being angry with me over little piddly crap
- plagiarists (again)
- people apparently being rude to a disabled student I have in one of my classes.
- a couple in one of my classes who canNOT stop their ongoing stream of "you're smoopy!" "No, you're smoopy!" for more than five effing minutes at a time even though I keep stopping and glaring at them.
- my neighborhood has suddenly become loud, affecting both my sleep and relaxation time
- all the shit going on in government and the outside world.
- the horrible sense I have that we're all dancing on the foredeck of the Titanic as an iceberg comes into view.
It can all FTFO. All the rude selfish people who think rules shouldn't apply to them because they are more specialer than the rest of us can FTFO. The weather can FTFO.
"Smoopy?"
Yes, it's Friday. Thank God.
WV: revillyp - what I plan to do after work.
Ricki, the entire week can FO. It ain't you, and I endorse your FFOT comment without reservation. Just read on to see what happened this week in my life at work....
First, an exec-YOU-tive summary of what I'm thinking about:
+ A senior executive directs my boss to "close out" a problem in 3 days. This is something of a problem because it involves several local, state, and federal agencies, plus two private land owners. The senior executive was described as "His head looked like a pimple that was ready to pop". The fact that he was briefed on the plan to close out the matter months ago mattered not at all.
+ I was working directly with the local office of a federal agency for regulatory compliance on a certain matter. We had a major meeting scheduled next week. On Monday, I was informed that the national corporate office was talking to the national headquarters of the same agency on a similar matter. They had developed a plan for this matter, but never bothered to tell anyone what they were doing. They heard had about our upcoming meeting, and went ballistic, primarily because we went against the national corporate plan that we were never advised of. So, everything was canceled (including a critical meeting next week), and everyone (from our local CEO to our local crop of territorial asshats) was angry and/or agitated because I had Done Something Wrong. My boss had to brief the CEO about the entire program (a program that he specifically told me he didn't give a damn about). A big meeting was held back east on Wednesday as result. Oddly enough, IMMEDIATELY after that meeting*, the formerly angry CEO sent out an e-mail authorizing our local plans, and praising us for "being innovative" and "taking the initiative". And, yes, that CEO knew all about our local plans a long time ago. I briefed him myself. Now we have to revive the canceled meetings, and hope that we haven't lost any momentum.
And so on, ad nauseum. So here's my FFOT comment:
The FUCKING asshats who FUCKING think they are FUCKING expert in every FUCKING matter that impacts our FUCKING organization, and operate on either not FUCKING talking to us worker bees or FUCKING ignoring us worker bees because they are too FUCKING arrogant, self-centered, narrowed minded and inflexible can FUCKING well fuck off every FUCKING day of their FUCKING lives while getting smacked on their FUCKING empty skulls with a FUCKING titanium clue bat dipped in raw sewage, covered with sprinkles and stars, six times a FUCKING day, and four times at night.
Thank you. I feel much better now.
====
*: I would have paid good money to be a fly on the wall at that meeting!!!
ricki, JeffS - the motion is seconded and carried. Boy was there a bumper crop this week...
* The Senate's slavery apology. Yeah, real timely. Hell, you waited this long, why not wait for the 150th anniversary of the firing on Fort Sumter? You can have a little ceremony and everything, and medical staff on hand to treat all the shoulders you sprain patting yourselves on the collective back. Jackholes. "Apology" means taking responsibility for something, so here's a radical thought - apologize for Jim Crow. At least some of you fossilized turds ARE actually responsible for that. Is there even a complete set of balls among the entire Senate to do that?
* All the bastards causing pain to all of my blogfriends everywhere. It's like they held a march and a big meet-and-greet, and coordinated all the misery they would be visiting on everyone I know. Little shitlickers. Is it really so great being such fucknuts that you have to gift the world with your fucknuttery? If you hate happiness so much, save it for people who would actually enjoy and treasure it, and keep your cruelties, both petty and large, to yourselves.
* Locally, the visitors from Nebraska, wandering our streets aimlesly at 1:15 am. I tried - really I did - tried my best to give them the benefit of the doubt. They meandered along. "Eh, poor guys are lost." They found the drive-thru. "Must be tough finding something open." They took fifteen minutes to order. "It's already late, the extra time won't make a difference." They put their SUV in reverse and started closing in. "Uhm... OK, honk and all, but it's cool, you stopped."
They paid, they left; I paid, I left. All's well - UNTIL I see the SUV sitting in the exit ramp, and this corn-pone, cracker-ass sheep kisser is standing outside the passenger door, taking a long, leisurely whiz next to the four-lane divided highway. Really, asshole? For true? You think that the sapling they planted three weeks ago is that much cover? It's the size and width of a fucking wiffle bat. You're in the parking lot of a fucking all-night fast-food joint, next to a primary regional highway! It's a fucking race to the bottom between your tiny wanker and your tinier brain, and I gotta say, my money is on a fucking photo finish. It's a super-sized Fuck the Fuck OFF, you disgusting inbred mouth-breathers, with special sauce-lettuce-cheese-et-fucking cetera, right between your two all-beef patties.
Gah. I didn't realize it was Friday, either, until the FFOT updated on my bloglist over at The Anti-Soma. My excuse is the usual: teething, baby deciding he had to get up at 6:30 to eat, but refusing to go back to sleep when he was done (he usually does go back to sleep for another two-three hours).
Oh, and I can fuck off for not having the patience to wait on it when one of our favorite gun shops got in a good condition Mosin-Nagant carbine rifle. In my defense, that's the first one that I've found, in about a year of serious looking, that hasn't had the barrel corroded by fuckleheads not cleaning the rifle (and/or not knowing the Windex trick for neutralizing the corrosive agents) after shooting WWII surplus ammo through it. After May's nasty storm that left us out of power for a week, and with a few thousand dollars of damage, we didn't need to have spent that $120. Therefore, I can fuck off.
My ex can fuck off with flaming skewers through the few sensitive areas she possesses, for once again arranging things so that my son has to spend Father's Day with his stepfather instead of his father. She can't erase me completely, but by God, she can try. Every fucking year there's a different excuse.
And she can doubly fuck off for insinuating herself into my family by marrying my cousin, so that I can't even talk about my frustration anywhere that my family might read it. These are the people who are supposed to be on my side, but she managed to marry my cousin, so now they're her family who sort of know who I am. Vicious, manipulative shitstain that she is.
Crap, Joel, every time you bring up that woman, it's something worse. I can't remember the last time I've wanted to kick someone's ass so bad. What a BITCH.
I have another one -- people who cannot GET TO THE FUCKING POINT can FUCK OFF. Four times today, I've taken phone calls from idiots who spent twenty minutes explaining something that could have been made clear in TWO. I don't know about everyone else, but I do not have the fucking TIME to spend hours on the phone hearing irrelevant details that have nothing to do with me or what I need to get the job done. You are supposed to be professionals and know what information I need. Give it to me and NOTHING ELSE. I don't need to hear about anything but. I have other people to tend to and more important things to do than to listen to you babble endlessly.
Oh, and for some reason lately, it seems like every other person I talk to is in the top twenty most inarticulate motherfuckers on Earth. I don't expect everyone I deal with to be a fucking dazzling orator of public speaking proportions, but you are fucking adults. You should be able to string sentences together in a way which other adults can understand you. FUCK! It's not that hard.
WV: broske. What I want to do to Joel's ex-wife and the other douchewads referenced above.
Eh. Not a bad week. Meaningless paperwork that nobody reads can fuck off. Tired of covering somebody else's ass. If the only reason to do it is so that you won't get in trouble for not doing it, then it's a waste of time....
My only real ffot is companies that I would like to have service turned on through wanting my SSN. On the phone or online. Um...no. Yes, I understand you need a background check. I also know that this can be done through other means than a SSN. If you can't accomodate other options, neither can I. Amazing how that works, isn't it?
Super Wow to all this week. I mean, just, Wow.
I am humbled by the magnitude of the fuckwittery that has evovled in your lives since last Friday.
Nothing much here, more of the same. Sister Dear has purchased a Ford Saleen somethingorother muscle car convertible and has stated that, "I haven't ever turned on the stereo, I just like to listen to the engine."
That is pure fucking unadulterated asshole rodeo right fucking there. Fuck you, twatstress.
If she turns on the radio? She will hear the sound of me puking.
I agree with Ricki: this week can FTFO.
-My boss's Granny died
-My coworker's dog-thats-more-like-a-child died
-two coworkers were in the hospital
-my ex was in the hospital
And to top it all off, in our Worlds Most Boring Conference Call (TM) this morning with about 100 people from around the country listening, the Department Idiot (not me) actually used the term "Chinese Fire Drill".
The only good thing about this week?
It's over!
appropriate wv: tragi
That sure describes this week: not quite "tragic", but close.
Julie, I hate hate hate hate hate HATE those humongous phone conferences. HATE. I give thanks to any and all deities that video phones are a rarity, so the twat waffles running the circus can see me yawning. They are a waste of time, even if you have a sharp moderator. Invariably, I wear a headset and surf the INTERNET. Or do e-mail. ANYTHING but listen to some pompous blowhard pontificate over the phone. Bleah!
Joel, I thought my ex was a royal bitch. I stand corrected, and offer a prayer for you. That is beyond disgusting.
And here's a FUCK, YEAH! to Pixar. That was a lovely gesture on their part.
Second to all of the above. And in addition, fuck off to death. Especially when it happens to a very talented buy only 36 years old.
Why is everyone here cursing so angrily?
What the FUCKING FUCK is that FUCKING SHIT all about?
Oh, yeah folks. Val is back with a vengeance after a long FFOT hiatus. And...I have a FUCKING LIST.
Come this Friday, may I suggest fire retardant clothing and equipment.
HIDE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN!
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