Friday, January 16, 2009

Emily Can Fuck Off

I can fuck off for forgetting it's Friday and denying everyone their possibly much-needed forum for blowing off some fucking steam. Have at it.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, I got a couple:

1. People in positions of responsibility (& high pay) who make a decision that negatively affects many people, do not tell people the JUSTIFICATION for that decisions, and then sends a petulant and crabby e-mail to everyone affected by the decision, complaining how the people who asked for justification are just big whiny babies can FTFO.

2. Prospective students who complain that you weren't in your office at 4:30 pm when they drove "a whole hour" to get here (without having called to, you know, SET UP AN APPOINTMENT FIRST) can FTFO.

3. Double FTFO for those that, when you call them, say it's not a good time. When you ask them to tell you when they could call back, they say "in the afternoons." No. I need a day and a time, preferably with a "window" of 30 minutes or less. I am NOT doing the princess-in-the-tower waiting game. Too old for that.

4. Triple FTFO if that same person pulls the "Well, you know, I'm also thinking of applying to [Competitor School]" card.

Fine with me. Go bug them then. They're a lot bigger than we are so they'll be even less likely to put up with your entitlement BS.

5. People who make up ugly words and use them in manuscripts that are sent to me to review for publication can FTFO. There's this thing called a dictionary and another thing called a thesaurus; try them before you go making up some ugly-assed word.

(Captcha word: ionpea. New, from Birdseye!)

Cullen said...

Made-up words are cool when they're funny and done in the proper context.

I need to fuck off. I'm having a very difficult readjustment from my time off for surgery and getting back into the swing of things at work. Part of it has to do with pain medication (I don't know how House does it!), but a lot of it is my frame of mind. You know, I actually like this place and I like the folks I work with. I am very fond of my organization, at the macro level anyway. However, my "give-a-shit" switch was flipped to off over the holidays and just hasn't been turned back on.

Caltechgirl said...

Ricki, I am so with you on #1. I wish I could explain further. I really fucking wish I could explain further.

Anonymous said...

FTFO to sicknesses that take cool people out of commission. FTFO to NOT having "Burrito-fication Friday". FTFO to fucking students that think that the classroom is their personal garbage can. We lost a janitor to a heart condition during the holidays, and due to the fucking budget crisis, the district has frozen all hirings - in short, we don't get the cleaning attention that is needed each day in our classrooms. FUCK!!!!!!!!! I hate cleaning up after 120 children.

Laura(southernxyl) said...

1 - Landlords who, despite getting the rent every month, on time or early, haven't been paying the house note, leaving the tenents (us) with options they'd rather not have at this exact point in time.

2 - The printer staring at me right now on my desk, "Open door. Clean carriage jam, and press OK." THE CARRIAGE IS NOT JAMMED DAMMIT.

3 - Ricardo Montalban for dying. Okay, dude, I know you were 88 years old, and as my kid said, we didn't have a chance with you, but still.

4 - Iamhungry. And I didn't provide myself with an afternoon snack. Go me.

Anonymous said...

Frenemies and drama queens and people who unnecessarily create drama where there is none can fuck off with wild geese.

Anonymous said...

Financial and project management data systems that are supposed "increase efficiency" but instead make more work because they aren't integrated into a single software package can fuck off with cheese coated paper. You know, all that paper we were supposed to save by automating? Instead, our print jobs have increased geometrically. That can fuck off as well.

Offices that send out "data calls" because they don't care to dig out the data themselves from existing databases can fuck the fucking fuck off. I don't have enough time to do my work as it is, assholes.

Hamas can fuck off with a diseased goat for their blatant use of women and children as human shields.

The Fifth String said...

The gangbangers running around trashing businesses and causing damage over the kid killed by the BART cop can fuck off. Those businesses weren't involved and don't deserve to be vandalized.

Related: Tha fuckers who want to lynch the BART cop can fuck off. He gets a trial, or had you forgotten?

Again related: Qualified fuck off to the BART cop, qualified only because I only have info from the news. If the news stories are anywhere near accurate, you're toast asshole.

Kate P said...

Ricki--ionpeas must come in microwave packaging!

What "Brown Can Do for" me is fuck off, for calling me at 8:15 this morning and scaring the living daylights outta me. (A call at that time or earlier, and my first thought is, "Who died!?") But I may have to rescind that, seeing as they delivered something important to me today. I just didn't need a recording at 8:15 to tell me that. Just update your stupid tracking info better, so I could've known last night.

O.K., so that's a little petty. On a larger scale, the utility company running an ad on the local radio news station for Monday's holiday, that proceeds to urge us to change a light bulb and other "green" things--yeah, because that's really what Dr. King was about--can totally FTFO with wheatgrass jalapeno tofu dip. I don't know how anybody could make a thematic leap from one of Dr. King's speeches and come up with all the B.S. in that commercial. It's offensive. At least others, like the people getting choirs from different churches together to do a concert, get it. But "going green" has no inherent ability to end discrimination that I've ever heard of. *sigh*

Heroditus Huxley said...

I can fuck off for not getting the lectures put together for my online composition II course before semester started. I've got three more to write.

Anonymous said...

Everything.