Got a few, this morning..

Ted Turner.  I think M Sgt B said it best: "If Ted ever feels like being sodomized with a nail-studded baseball bat soaked in gasoline, I'm sure he won't have a shortage of volunteers. American soldiers love to help people out."  He can, indeed, fuck right the fuck off, and then die a painful death from rectal prolapse.

Okay, the next is closer to home: the guy that owns the house that my newest set of neighbors live in can fuck right the fuck off, for several reasons.

•  He gave them verbal indication that he'd let them rent-to-own the house, to be paid off at $20,000 (about what the place was worth).  When he put the contract in front of them, the price had jumped to $46,000.  They wanted to walk away, but he told them he'd let them into the house for $100, plus the expectation that they'd start repairs.  That put them over a barrel because that was literally all they had.

• Not keeping the utilities in his name until they could have gotten the deposits together, again like he'd promised.  They told him they could pay the electric and water bills, but couldn't do that and get the deposits together.  

• Assuring them, again verbally, that they could stay and just pay him what they could for rent, when they could, then sending them an eviction  notice after they'd done a few hundred dollars' worth* (if not more) in repairs to the hovel he'd cheated them into.  

The broken promises and misleading statements honestly sound like the guy would do well in politics.  He can fuck off with a 6x6" barbed-wire-wrapped, powdered glass coated building timber, lubricated with sulfuric acid, skunk musk, and the rotten ejaculate of pigs.  Assholery like that needs to hurt, so that they can learn to behave better.

*They've rewired the dangerously messed up wiring, fixed gaping holes in the walls, shored up sagging ceiling, fixed some of the plumbing (though there is more to go--they ran out of supplies and money), cleaned up the yard, and put in a range top and installed an in-the-wall oven, neither of which they can use because of the whole lack of electricity thing.  

hard lessons

I can fuck off for, however briefly, forgetting that I can't afford to make mistakes around my kids, with regards to electronics in proximity to liquids.  I can also fuck off for going ahead and spending the extra money to get the nicer, larger laptop, when all I really needed was a netbook.

Argh.

entitlements

Right now, personal frustrations center around territorial behavior of a young boy, and the whiplash-inducing vacillation between snuggling the puppy when she's sleeping and screaming in terror when she's awake that the pixie has been indulging in.  And I will not tell my own kids to fuck off.  So, my topics tend to be either lists of things that have gotten on my nerves in the news or in my classes.

Like this.  The federal government encouraging people to get on food stamps.  That fucking pisses me off so hard that my eyeballs are twitching.  Here's the money quote: "Everyone wins when eligible people take advantage of benefits to which they are entitled."

Umm...fuck no.  You fucking fuckwads are fucking encouraging fucking losers that can pay for a fucking iPhone, but not their kids' food, to fucking sign up to FUCKING TAKE MONEY OUT OF MY FUCKING POCKET THAT I FUCKING USE TO FEED MY KIDS, JUST TO FUCKING GIVE IT TO PEOPLE THAT ARE FUCKING GAMING THE FUCKING SYSTEM!!!!  You fucking fuckstick cockleaches are of the opinion that "Each $5 dollars in new SNAP benefits generates almost twice that amount in economic activity for the community," BUT HOW MUCH DOES IT FUCKING COST TO FUCKING PUT A GUN TO THE HEADS OF EACH AND EVERY FUCKING TAXPAYER TO PAY FOR THE COCK-JUGGLING THUNDER CUNTS* MILKING THE FUCKING ENTITLEMENT FUCKING PROGRAMS FOR ALL THE REST OF US ARE FUCKING WORTH?  HOW FUCKING MUCH OF MY FUCKING MONEY ARE YOU FUCKING USING TO PAY FOR TAKING IT FROM ME TO GIVE TO THOSE WHO ARE TOO FUCKING IRRESPONSIBLE TO FUCKING GO TO THE FUCKING COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT FOR FUCKING FREE CONDOMS?

Mr. Obama, you have, indeed built that.  I hope you are fucking proud of yourself, and that your mother is fucking burning in fucking hell for not aborting you, you fucking spoiled fucking rotten, fucking nasty-tempered, fucking ego-driven, fucking lying fucking bastard.  

*Thank you, Blade III, for that lovely, descriptive turn of phrase.

Ingratitude

I am about ready to stop fucking giving any fucking feedback on fucking everything except the fucking papers.  The papers are in my contract--the blogs and the discussion board aren't.  I tell students in the grade book why they don't get the full points when they don't fucking pay attention to the fucking instructions and do the entire fucking assignment fucking correctly the first fucking time.

And the little fucktards email me whining "Whyyyy didn't I get full credit???  I don't unerstaaaaannnddd!!!"

Because you didn't fucking follow the fucking instructions.  Go look at your fucking grade book before you fucking bother me.

And those who pester me with "But you didn't grade my stuff and leave me feedback the minute I did the assignment!"  Y'all can fuck right the fucking fuckety fuck off.  Your fucking shit is not the only fucking thing I have to fucking grade.  If you want me to fucking do it NOW NOW NOW, you will not fucking like your fucking score because you CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYFUCKINGTHING FUCKING RIGHT, you stupid, fucking mouth-breathing fucking MORON.

Those who complain about those who are working full time plus volunteering forgetting one small part of their volunteer work can either turn that volunteer work into a fucking paid fucking position or shut the fuck up when your unpaid helper who volunteers non-existent free time (incidentally, this does not make them your slave, or your bitch) messes something up.

And to family: I buy you groceries because I fucking feel sorry for how stupid you are.  Your choices have been what's caused you to go hungry.  Do not whine about the fact that those fucking groceries aren't the goddamn fucking name brand.  Or that it's the wrong thing, and you don't eat that.  Grow the fuck up, get a fucking job, and buy your own damn groceries.  Because I'm fucking done.