This week is dedicated to all our teachers and their ungrateful students who try to get out of learning with stupid excuses by thinking they're so special that they are somehow above the work that everyone else has to do.
It's your education, you morons. Take it seriously.
And my special aside - people with advanced degrees that they earned with said behavior who slid by with a 2.4 GPA yet still go around afterwards acting like they're smarter than everyone else when they are really just a dumb ass fuck that's good at kissing ass and making excuses can FUCK OFF.
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First of all, Janet Napolitano and her flying monkeys can fuck off with rusty barb wire dipped in shit for that execrable report on "right wing extremism" that effectively smears almost anyone who voted against Obama or served in the military. Napolitano can fuck off twice because she offered one of those "I'm apologize if you're offended" non-apologies. So much for uniting the country, dipshits.
Second, executives who must always have their ways, even after getting clear and sound advice from their staff (backed up the written rules) that YOU CAN'T DO IT THAT WAY OR WE WILL GET INTO SERIOUS FUCKING TROUBLE, can fuck off with a cheese coated, flaming travel voucher after being shot out of a fucking cannon. They can double fuck off for answer shopping from clueless fucktards who DEPEND on fucking idiot executives breaking laws to cut corners.
And those same exeuctives can TRIPLE FUCKITY FUCKING FUCK OFF for refusing to let go, and make their staff revisit the same problem over and over and over and over and over again....especially when the problem AIN'T ALL THAT CRITICAL, and can be fixed WITH A SIMPLE SOLUTION that's unacceptable because they didn't come up with it. Yeah, yeah, some of your staff are "not fresh", but that doesn't mean they don't know what they're doing.
Yay, thank you Emily. How did you know it was getting to be the time of the semester when all the slack-off jag-offs realized that they needed some extra credit, stat? And that all the things they neglected to do this semester has suddenly become my problem rather than theirs?
My real FO for today though is reserved for the HORRIBLE IDIOT DRIVERS that have invaded my town. In the past week, no less, I have avoided not one, but two, serious accidents SOLELY because of my fast reflexes and careful attention:
1. at a four-way stop. Where I was the ONLY car sitting there, almost ready to go through, when two separate cars showed up and decided that "four way stop" means "everyone but me has to stop." And then the person FOLLOWING one of them decided, "Hey, he went through out of turn...so I'm gonna do that too!"
2. An IDIOT flying off the interstate, through the cloverleaf interchange, and running a light that had been red for 15-20 seconds already when he reached it. He would have t-boned me if not for the fact that I had not quite got up to my GREEN light yet, and I saw him in my peripheral vision,and thought, "That a-hole isn't gonna stop."
I do not know if any of the idiot drivers had a cell phone plastered to their ear, but I'd be willing to bet they did.
I canNOT take much more of this "universe revolves around ME and all the other cars on the road are merely illusions, like in a video game" attitude.
Ricki - because I went to college. This was always the time of year when the worst nightmare of my educational experience - the group project - would come to a head. I'd always wind up with some slacker who thought a semester-long project could be put off until three days before it was due. This was always the time of year where the "oh shit, I guess we better get cracking" attitude would sink in. After I'd spent two months busting my ass, these morons would show up to sign their name on the bottom of the cover letter and get the same credit as me. I don't know how teachers feel about this sort of thing, but if I was older and had the guts I do now, I would have complained to my instructors about it. That's just plain not fair.
I NEVER EVER have group projects in my classes (other than having people have lab partners, and then I try to rotate it so no one gets stuck with the slacker/idiot all the time) because I wound up being the "chump" on far too many group projects myself.
All the slackers would literally blackmail the diligent students...they'd be all "But YOU care about your grade so you'll do the work." Dammit, they were right.
Effing slackers.
My dad used to sometimes do group work - he had to, given the size classes he had - but he also let each person confidentially evaluate the others in their group. So if three of the four group members said that someone was an idiot and did no work, he would grade that person down based on it. And the students knew it.
But still, I think group work in college sucks, even if most people wind up doing collaborative work in their careers, because...well, it just SUCKS. And it occurs to me that in a career situation you could still get the slacker/diligent person dynamic.
It strikes me that there's a larger societal commentary to be made about "group work" and how the people who care about their grades wind up getting screwed into doing the work to support the slackers, but I won't go there, because it's too soon after Tax Day and it makes my blood pressure go up too much.
ANNNNND I've got another FO, hot off the presses:
People who do something, get punished for it, and then spend fifteen minutes of MY time telling me in very colorful ways exactly WHY it was unfair their special snowflake behind got slapped, because as a special snowflake they are deserving of only the most caring and special treatment, can FO.
And THEN they can doubly FO for lighting into me when I suggest that maybe, just maybe, the problems they are having just might possibly be their fault.
Unfortunately, that "group work" ethic sticks around into the work place. The slackers let someone else carry the workload, and then take credit for it, at least by claiming membership in a "successful team", if not outright ownership in the product.
And it's worse when the slackers become project managers -- they literally do nothing, including making decisions. These losers get all confused when team members point out that the PM is in charge, and needs to make some decisions.
And I'm not sure this is related, but I note that these same type of slackers have a problem understanding what "consensus" means. If they don't get UNANIMOUS agreement on a recommendation, there is no "consensus". I *think* this goes back to the "What, me work?" attitude, as applied to decision making.
But it could be simple idiocy as well.
I couldn't wait for my fuck off. Posted most of it on my blog yesterday. Still.
Brainless twatwaffle congresscritters who call exercising our right to assembly and freedom of speech "despicable" can FUCK the FUCK OFF WITH A CRACKED GLASS DILDO DIPPED IN HER OWN SPUTUM.
JeffS said what I wanted to say about our Dear Leader's Homeland Security chief regarding calling veterans potential terrorists. However, she can also fuck off for not being able to tell the FUCKING DIFFERENCE between Oklahoma City's and New York City's terrorist attacks. HELLO, YOU STUPID QUEEF! The difference is ONE OR TWO MEN, who were angry with the GOVERNMENT, PARKED A VAN full of explosives outside a GOVERNMENT BUILDING in one, and a FEW HUNDRED WERE HURT, while PROPONENTS of an EXTREMIST IDEOLOGY who were in the United States ILLEGALLY on EXPIRED STUDENT VISAS, FUCKING HIJACKED TWO FUCKING JETS AND FUCKING RAMMED THEM INTO TWO FUCKING HIGH RISES, where they killed THREE FUCKING THOUSAND Americans in the other. How the FUCKING HELL is that hard to see the difference between the attacks?
And for Val, whatever he's doing instead of writing fuck offs:
Obama can FUCK OFF with a rusty, broken curtain rod containing a thousand gerbils covered in rancid habanero nacho cheese for lifting travel and money-sending restrictions to CUBA and empowering that LEFTIST, COMMUNIST, SACK OF SHIT GOVERNMENT to keep STOMPING ON THE PEOPLE.
It was experience with group projects in college that first really got me to start questioning my up-to-then pretty radical collectivist leanings. Thanks to that previous sentence, I have to tell myself to fuck off for the douchey writing.
But mostly this week overly-literal and overly-analytical people can fuck off. You take the fun out of everything.
And, oh yeah.....George Will can take his sneering, condescending elitist spew about wearing jeans and shove it up his imbecilic tush sideways.
You don't like denim, George? Cool. Don't wear it. Denim isn't the only choice of fabric? Got it.
But calling denim an "infantile uniform" only labels you as an arrogant douche bag, wallowing in snobbery. Wise up, jerk, you ain't the center of the universe.
"Hello, Mr. Will? I've got 1952 on the phone. Would you like to take it or should I have them call back later?"
Wow, I hadn't seen the denim thing.
That's really imbecilic. I like to dress nicely, but (a) I would never look down on someone for choosing to wear jeans and (b) there are some days (like when I am doing FIELD WORK or WORKING WITH DANGEROUS CHEMICALS IN LAB) where denim really makes more sense - it doesn't melt like more delicate fibers do when exposed to solvents and stuff, and it's easy to wash mud out of it.
Elitist git.
Denim actually started as a working-man's fabric, or does Will not remember that? It was the uniform of farmers, coal miners, mechanics - the people who made this country work and still do. It was what Rosie the Riveter wore, for God's sake.
Urgh. "Dress nicely" = wearing skirts and dresses rather than pants all the time. Maybe a little elitism of mine slipped in there, sorry, I can FO for that.
Not that denim can't look nice.
Because on some of the cowboys I've seen, denim and western shirts look VERY nice, indeed.
What I want to know is, if Will is so opposed to shifts in fashion trends, why does he pick jeans as the starting point? Why not call for the return of dusted wigs and knickers? Hell, at one point, human beings went around dressed in loin cloths made from animal skins. Why did that ever change?!?!?!?
And actually, with they way many designers make them today, in some ways, jeans can even be more stylish than slacks in some ways. There are obviously ocassions where jeans are inappropriate, but it's rare to see people over-step that.
And if dressing like Grace Kelly means I have to wear a tiara, you can forget it. I'm not doing that EVER.
Hello, Mr. Will? I've got 1952 on the phone. BUAWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Why not call for the return of dusted wigs and knickers?I think tricornes and kepis are pretty nifty myself.
Seriously, you raise a good point, Emily. Why pick on denim? Sheesh!
And specifically, denim for *all* ocassions. Give me a break. Lots of people work in jobs that require durable, easily washable clothing. It's one thing to say people shouldn't wear them to weddings or more formal events, but like I said, how often do you see that happen?
Really, all Will is saying is "get off my lawn." It's stupid and arrogant. Sorry, buster. You don't get to tell me how to dress.
I wonder if the denim thing is Will's version of being one of those people who sniff superiorly and say they got rid of their television in 1986 or something? Or the person who "Never eats white sugar" and implies that if you do, you are some kind of dietary imbecile?
I hate it when people do that kind of crap. Makes me want to invest in a big pack of those Denison gold-foil star stickers so I could paste them on the foreheads of people like that and say, "There. Now that proves you are officially a Good Person. Can we talk about something else now?"
There's definitely a snotty undertone to the whole thing, Ricki. He had to make a point of letting everyone know that he only owns a single pair of jeans and wore them once, but only because he had to.
Good for you, George. You're better than me. Does that make you feel like a big man?
As I said over at Rob's place, Will didn't just turn into his father, he blew past him all the way to his great-grampa with that column.
My fuck off is to all of the rude fans who got up from or went back to their seats while play was going on at last night's Twins game. And the fucking doormat usher who wouldn't stop them from returning to their seats.
I make an exception for sudden physical issues or children who suddenly tell a parent "I have to go". Other than that, stay in your damn seat until there is a real break in the action you damned chowderheads. And no, inbetween batters is not a fucking break in the action. Baseball's version of "special snowflakes" is what they are. Assholes.
Oh, and they can also fuck off for turning me into the "get off my lawn" guy of section 133. Yeah, that was me yelling "down in front" after the fifth inning. It was that or start bleeding from my eyes. Assholes.
Holy crap. It's Friday. Well fuck off to me.
Second the fuck offs to the Special Snowflakes (JEEZ I love that phrase, Ricki!) and to the parents who enable them (even for some of the college age kids).
Oh, and my particular one today? Fuck off to "buffers" whose pH ain't nowhere NEAR the pK of the buffer component. Long story.
BTW, name/url: I love your TV show, "My Name/Url".
Good one, Ken!
I wonder if Special Snowflakes are becoming more abundant, or if I am just losing my tolerance for them.
(I, once again, had to slam on my damn brakes because a flaming idiot decided "red light doesn't apply to me! Whee!" I would like to have ALL red-light runners - and I mean the blatant ones, not the "oops, it changed as I was halfway through" but the "Oh, it's been red for five seconds but I AM STILL GOING THROUGH" to have their cars neatly bisected by a snowplow, like they tried to do on Mythbusters last night. With the terrible drivers IN them)
WV: conymyer Something served at a baseball game? (An Oscar Meyer coney?)
Ricki, speaking of stop signs, you also have the people at stop signs who think that having to stop behind someone stopped at a stop sign counts as _their_ stop. Um, no. It doesn't. I hate that.
The completely outmoded system for reporting hours at my main job can fuck off with tiny little golf pencils crammed right up there. I write my hours in your stupid little homemade hand-drawn grid. (Sometimes correcting my name if I have to.) I write my hours on another fucking schedule on the wall where everyone can see it, so they know when I'm coming in and stop making all the rude fucking comments about how I'm "never there." That's TWO PLACES. So how come I wound up working for FREE today, huh? WTF happened? Now I get to enjoy being annoyed about it all weekend until I can get it fixed on Monday. *sigh*
I'm with Beyondall--is my certification here yet? Can't wait to apply for a job in a real institution. Probably full of special snowflakes, but that's O.K.
(WV: "nonsequ"--if we hadn't been writing all that highfalutin' elitist stuff earlier, WV wouldn't be trying to impress us with pseudo-Latin. . .)
my tonsils can fuck off for think they are 7 and getting inflamed.
dammit.
Oh man, CTG, that sucks bigtime. I still have mine and I'm just frickin' waiting.
See, my Dad had his out when he was in his 30s. Not good, shoulda done it sooner.
Of course feeding into his misery was his refusal to follow the doc's orders to take it easy for several days. Nope. Went out deer hunting next day. And day after, I think. Can't remember for sure, I was about five at the time (I actually remember that deer season for other reasons). Anyhoo, he was down hard for a few weeks after that.
And this was just a year or so after he got the mumps, which he hadn't gotten as a kid.
Good times, good times... [/sarcasm or something like that]
"And if dressing like Grace Kelly means I have to wear a tiara, you can forget it. I'm not doing that EVER."
... I want to wear a tiara. And be a princess. I think the King of Bhutan might need one of them there blonde American wives. (Jigme Khesar- CALL ME.)
Um. But. All the crap being crammed into these last few weeks of college can FO. I don't have time to do all this! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.
And also the fact that I have to be a grown-up in 3 weeks.
And no one will hire me. Not even the King of Bhutan.
prolonged writer's block that somehow morphs into apathy can fuck the hell off.
my recent inability to focus for more than 5 minutes at a time can fuck off as well.
I just don't have any good ones this week. no one that has really pissed me off of late.
word verification fun: kiler. what i would be if i could get away with it.
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