Tornados

Tornados—especially ones that park themselves next to hospitals—can fuck right the fuck off.

Looters. Looters can fuck right off to the special level of hell reserved for child molesters and those who talk in movie theaters.

People who complain about no music on radio stations offering storm and recovery coverage 24/7—and are helping people find their loved ones in the mess in Joplin—can fuck right off. Listen to your iPods or CDs. We're working on surviving.

People who complain about no cable or internet when they're still pulling survivors out of the wreckage in Joplin can fuck right off. You can complain when everyone is accounted for.

I'm posting this early because while we're safe, we had to go to my mother's to get internet access. And I'm too mentally exhausted to get worked up about this.

I really shouldn’t be complaining…

Having to set my alarm to get up an hour or two before the baby so that I can get things done can fuck off. I adore both my kids, but I really wish herding the butt limpet (really, he runs up behind me, wraps his arms around my hips as far as they'll go, and presses his face into my butt, giggling when I try to shake him off), and dealing with days of "I won't sleep unless you're holding me and I'm nursing" exhaust me to the point that I can't get much done after they both go to bed.

I can fuck off for complaining, but damn if I don't need a babysitter sometimes.

ANTS!!!

We are having our yearly infestation invasion of ants. We cannot figure out where they're coming in, why they're coming in, nor can we prevent them from coming in. And with a toddler and an infant, we can't spray all of the routes we've found inside—most are in the kitchen, but many are in the baby's room, or right behind the toddler's potty chair in the bathroom.

Ants. Ants can fuck off. Ants can fuck off with a giant can of ant and roach spray. I HATE ants with a bloody purple passion.

Gack.

All four members of my family being sick with a cold at once can fuck off.

Not being able to ease my children's stuffed up sinuses can fuck off.

Not being able to take Sudafed can fuck off.

My state contemplating making pseuduoephedrine products available by prescription only can fuck off with rusty razorblade lined baseball bats. Lubricated with ghost pepper oil. May the sponsors of that bill be ass-plowed by the First Wookie on a four-wheeler wearing her giant prick of a husband as a strap-on.

That's all for me, but I think that's enough.

DC Comics can fuck off.

Superman has always stood for truth, justice, and the American way, no matter where he went. The creators of the character and the comic were American and proud of it. They believed that the American way was the best way.

DC Comics obviously don't feel the same way. They're having Superman renounce his US citizenship. They're having him say he's tired of his actions being interpreted as US policy. Once upon a time, we had presidents who would have been willing to back his actions, and a country who would have been thrilled to export our concepts of justice and freedom for all.

Actually, now that I think of it, maybe it isn't DC comics that can fuck off. Maybe it's our current political class and politically active intelligencia that needs to fuck off. Maybe DC Comics is only reprehensible for bowing to the tastes of those groups, rather than the majority of their readers.

I don't know. I only know that DC has fucked up an icon of my childhood, and I'm really not sure how I feel about it.

Don't feel quite right about posting anything, this weekend.

I hope everyone has a great Easter, and hope at least some of you get a couple days off for it.

Congress

Last week, there was a huge stink about the whole budget mess. I love the way ASM826 put it—the debt is the mountain of shit at a cattle ranch, and the deficit is the load from the day, carried out to be dumped onto the mountain.

Congress can fuck off for using a teacup to remove shit from the deficit, rather than taking a backhoe to the mountain of debt. My GRANDKIDS won't be able to pay off what they're doing today. We went to war with the British over shit like this—it's nothing more nor less than taxing our future with no representation—and those fucknuckles are squabbling over what they want to add to the debt load carried by our descendants ten times removed.

A housewife could design a better budget, one that would have our soldiers in no danger of going unpaid. Nor would it treat the social security (mis)trust fund like a piggy bank to pay for treats.

So yeah, congress can fuck the fuck off for being the idiot going on a spending spree with other people's credit cards. And we the people can fuck off for electing them and handing them ours.