The FFOT

A list.

2012-02-10T04:22:00.000-08:00

I have several, this week:

Migraines.
Grading
Migraines when I have grading to do.
Special snowflakes that squawk about how they don't understand an assignment, so they didn't do it.
Special snowflakes that don't read the textbook before squawking about not understanding an assignment, so they didn't do it.
Special snowflakes that wonder why they got a zero on that assignment that they didn't read the chapter over, didn't understand, and didn't do (see a theme here, people? There's more than one of them. There's more than two. I've got seven out of forty-six enrolled.)
The idiot judge that set Jerry Sandusky's bail at anything less than half a billion dollars.
Teachers, babysitters, and daycare workers that molest their charges. If anyone wonders why I don't put my kids in daycare, or leave them with a babysitter...explain to me exactly how you can.
The current totalitarian regime in Washington, D.C., and their discriminatory actions against the majority of U.S. citizens in their trampling of the first, second, fourth, and fifth amendments.

I think that's it for me. Go ahead and have at it. What's bugging you?

Cross-posted at the anti-soma.

For a sick friend...

2012-02-03T06:53:00.000-08:00

Overly-pessimistic medical staff can FTFO. When my imp was born, eight weeks early, doctors told me I wouldn't be able to take him home until his due date. The nurses told me more honestly that he'd have to meet certain standards of growth, and there'd be advances and setbacks, but that it was entirely possible he'd be able to come home sooner than the beginning of December.

Stephen, of Standing Outside Looking In, has been in the hospital for a while, now--untreated puncture wound getting infected, then getting gangrene (treatable, but painful), so he can use prayers from anyone who prays, and good, healing thoughts from the rest of us--and has a way to go. A doctor recently told him he's got three months before he'll be totally better.

That can FTFO. Yes, it's going to be a long and painful road, but that long? I doubt it, not with all of the loving family he's got, and all of the friends he's got both in real life and online, praying for him.

I understand that the docs are trying not to get our hopes up, but I think that's as damaging to recovery as expecting too much of ourselves while we're sick. I think doctors need to remember that most of us don't have the same kind of expertise that lets them tell when another doctor is feeding them a line of bull while they're sick, and give us a more realistic timetable, as well as the worst case scenario.

I wonder if it's also partially motivated by a fear of lawsuits?

The other FO I had for his sake will be resolved tonight: they hadn't let his beautiful and angelic five year old granddaughter do more than poke her head in for a couple of minutes. Tonight they get a good visit that includes a good, long hug.

Posted over at the anti-soma, like usual.

NOT WORTH GETTING ANGRY ABOUT?!??!!

2012-01-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

Who does Romney think he is? Barack Obama?

Seriously, I remember him saying what Santorum paraphrases him as saying. Romneycare is the same damn thing as Obamacare, just on a smaller scale (and it's failing there, too). And it is worth getting angry about--it's what the country is angry about. We don't want mandatory Medicaid, Mr. Romney, and electing you is going to make sure we keep it, because that's exactly what you signed into law in the once-proud state of Massachusetts.

I seriously don't know how, with how much he obviously loves his hair, he managed to get his head crammed so far up his rectum that he's licking his own tonsils. And he, and the amphibian can fuck off, with cheez, for helping the establishment eject the candidates that really represent the majority of the American people, and forcing us to choose runny, thick, or crunchy for the shit sandwich we're being served come November.

As usual, this has been cross-posted over at the anti-soma.

Lost week...

2012-01-20T06:32:00.000-08:00

Losing track of time can definitely fuck off. I thought I had another week before classes started (and I didn't--they started last Monday, not next Monday)--last week's back and forth between my town and the small city where my mother was in the hospital is, I think, to blame for that.

Another thing irritating me is the weather: it's bouncing around like a bouncy ball thrown at a cement floor by a three year old. We've been having small cold fronts come through nearly every day, then it warms back up the next day. It's playing hell with my knee (which I haven't had much trouble with since my son was born), and my hands (which I think I may be developing issues with).

Last, but not least, not having trusted babysitting truly sucks. My .22 upper for my STI (a Kimber) came on Tuesday, and I have no idea when I'll be able to get to the range. :(

Cross-posted at the anti-soma, as usual.

again, the distance learning course redesign crap

2012-01-13T06:37:00.000-08:00

I can't get into my course site until Monday to see how they've redesigned it, and can't rework/revise my textbook until I see how badly my course is FUBARed.

I will admit that most of the distance learning teachers suck: they don't pay attention to their course material once they've set it up, don't pay attention to how their students are doing in the course work, don't pay attention to course site foul-ups, and don't answer emails from students. I don't really blame the distance learning department for taking over the courses to try to force more attention and contact from the crap teachers.

That said, collective punishment (i.e., punishing those of us who do a good job with the same treatment as those who do the crap jobs) never works. Distance learning can fuck off for trying it, and those creeps that sign up to teach but don't teach can fuck off for ruining it for those of us that tweak our course each semester to better serve the students, and answer emails within twelve hours (or less) of getting them.

I'm not sure it's worth the extra money they pay me.

Cross-posted to the anti-soma

My left ovary

2012-01-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

I swear it's trying to claw its way out of my body. It's sending random, shooting pains through my entire pelvis and down my left leg. It can fuck off. With prejudice.

Bone deep exhaustion

2011-12-30T00:45:00.000-08:00

I love my family. I adore my children. I get along with Odysseus's parents better than I do my mother and aunts.

That said, I am so glad the holiday season is, for the most part over. Now, we just need to recover from it, and the colds that we each had going into it. I have a house to clean, kids (and spouse) to care for, and this utter exhaustion that Christmas caused can fuck the fuck off. With cheez. I don't have the time to deal with it, or the luxury to indulge it.

Cross-posted at the anti-soma.

Grinches

2011-12-23T06:23:00.000-08:00

I'm not the biggest fan of the Christmas season, partially because I think the commercial aspect is so overdone that the meaning behind the holiday disappears, and partially because my family overspends so horribly (when they're on fixed income and in debt over their heads), can't seem to get together without fighting, and kind of go into hyperventilating hysterics of excitement where it comes to opening presents.

That said, people who get offended by the mere mention of Christmas can f-off. I do not appreciate political correctness trying to marginalize those of us who are Christian at any time, much less during our highest holy days of Christmas and Easter. They bend over so far backwards for Muslims on their holidays that they wind up with their heads firmly inserted into someplace dark, humid, and fragrant, but choose to be "offended" by any mention of Christmas or Christ that they hyperventilate over a simple wish for a happy holiday season. They work so hard to force Christ out of the season that they've harassed cashiers into saying "Happy Holidays," and taken all references to Christmas out of Christmas plays (now called "Solstice concerts" for small children), Christmas Break (now called "Winter Break"), and even Christmas trees ("Holiday trees--the one at the White House features Obama, this year).

I'm so tired of all the political correctness that I've started going out of my way to offend those individuals. I wish people a "Merry Christmas," loudly, and with a smile that carries the glee of feeling like I've pissed somebody off.

And that, especially in this time of year, isn't right.

*Cross posted to the anti-soma.

Gah.

2011-12-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

Head 'splode. Posted on anti-soma. Go read and see why. Warning: have some way to manage your blood pressure, first.

Al Gore and global warmists

2011-12-09T00:13:00.000-08:00

I am getting so sick of the hand-wringing, Prius-driving, nihilistic, save Mother Nature ecoweenies. It's bad enough that they're always preaching at us (eating meat is killing the environment, using incandescent bulbs is killing the environment, breathing and farting and fucking and breeding is killing the environment), but now they're endangering our children, too. First, we have the couple almost two years ago that shot their kids (baby girl survived, toddler brother didn't) then themselves, and now we've got a school headmaster in Britain turning off the heat in his school on the coldest day of the year so far to reduce their carbon footprint.

Al Gore, and all of the brainless fart muffins that bloviate about how the earth is going to burn up and drown from rising sea levels AT THE SAME TIME!!! can fuck right the fuck off. May each and every one of the global warming consensus be assplowed by the First Wookie riding a bio-diesel four-wheeler, using her brainless husband as a strap on. With rancid habanero nacho cheez product dip as a lubricant.

I can tell them that no, global warming is not caused by humans, it is a natural cycle , of which we are on the cooler half of. Ask anybody who has joints that hurt when the weather gets cold, and then ask them if they'd prefer some more of that global warming magic.

Someone needs her legs sewn together.

2011-12-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

Watch this. Then tell me you don't agree with what I've written below (language alert).

Listen, honey. YOU are the only one responsible for the situation you're in. YOU opened your legs, without the benefit of being married (not that any man worth spit would have you), or the use of a DAMN CONDOM! Fuck right the fucking fuck off, with a--no, never mind that. I don't want to even suggest anything remotely to do with sex to this...individual.

May this filthy, welfare crack whore twatwaffle wake one morning to find that her funds have been cut off, and her children taken, and find herself in some sort of transportation on the way to the veterinarian to get spayed.

Cross posted to the anti-soma.

Black Friday

2011-11-25T06:23:00.000-08:00

Black Friday hysteria can fuck right the fuck off. I don't think even the opening of fucking hunting season garners as much media hysteria as Black fucking Friday, the opening of ~~Christmas~~ Holiday Gift Giving Shopping Season. What kind of stupid fucking putzes fucking trample each other to be the first to buy that 55" flatscreen TV that's on sale for 2% off the regular price (after figuring for the stores carefully jacking up their prices weeks before so that they can hype that the thing is 40% off!!1!1!!)? And what kind of fucking jackals fucking set up fucking NEWS CAMERAS in fucking hopes of fucking catching footage of fucking twatwaffles worked up BY THE FUCKING MEDIA'S FUCKING OVERHYPING OF THE FUCKING SALES fucking TRAMPLING little old ladies and children?!

May whoever started that particular shit-ball rolling find their own special level of hell when they die, and find that their punishment is to be the door greeter at a big box store on Black Friday--for all eternity.

And if they're already dead, I'm sure they've been reincarnated as a dung-beetle by now.

Cross-posted to the anti-soma.

Sorry so disjointed, but this is personal.

2011-11-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

Several levels, this week. Let's start with the closest: flashbacks can fuck off. So can news stories that cause said flashbacks. I don't need the nightmares and panic attacks.

The creeps in the Penn State football program can fuck right the fuckety fuck off. Both the fucking sick child-raping fuck that was fucking caught raping a ten-year-old in the showers, and tried to brush it off as "horsing around," and the even sicker fucking bastard that not only did nothing to stop it, but tried to cover it up. May the two of them go to general population in prison, and become cellmates with a person with a giant cock that's proportional to them like they are to the poor kids they harmed.

The judge that let the child rapist go without bail or a monitoring ankle bracelet can more than fuck right fucking fuckety fuck off. May that cunt get raped in such a way that she's as damaged as the kids she was supposed to put those evil bastards away to protect. May she be disbarred from serving as judge, lawyer, politician, or anything in which she'd come into contact with children ever in her life. May she be shunned by everyone everywhere, with no one willing to help her should she ever need it.

I know what those kids are going through. So does anyone my male genetic donor ever coached in little league or basketball.

Entitlement mentality

2011-11-11T07:06:00.000-08:00

The entitlement mentality behind the occupy whatever movement can fuck off. Some of us are grown ups, have jobs, can distinguish between needs and wants, live beneath our means to the best of our ability, and are getting pretty disgusted with the reenactment of Lord of the Flies in our parks and cities by spoiled children screaming "Somebody needs to give me a pony!"

Grading. Paperwork.

2011-11-04T00:30:00.000-07:00

It can all fuck off.

I just picked up papers, and according to my contract, I'm required to have them back to my students by Saturday (it says 72 hours). I've also been helping a colleague whose eyes can't tolerate looking at a computer screen for long periods with his online grading, and one of his students plagiarized her last assignment--five out of nine questions, from four different websites--and most of the rest totally butchered one of my favorite poets. I have more to do tomorrow, and that can fuck off.

So can the fact that the administration is pushing more and more of the paperwork they were originally hired to do onto the faculty. Like we don't have enough to do with the aforementioned grading.

Having all this to do all this with two sick toddlers can really fuck off.

Being buried under an avalanche of stuff that needs done.

2011-10-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

That can fuck off. Especially when you've got a toddler hanging off of one side of you, and a toddler-in-waiting hanging off the other, both wanting you to stop working and start playing with them.

(I'd much rather play with the kids than work.)

Oh, and panic attacks suck, and can fuck right the fucking fuckety fuck off. I really didn't need that today.

I got nothin'

2011-10-21T05:22:00.000-07:00

Nothing besides petty complaints about how early children tend to wake up. My pixie started taking her first independent steps this week. She's ten and a half months old.

Government. Again.

2011-10-14T08:56:00.000-07:00

First up is that Blooming idiot mayor of NYC, who asserts that pushing healthy food is the highest responsibility of government. Second one is the mental health "professionals" pushing to add lithium to the drinking water supply.

The second one bothers me. Seriously, are they planning to try to overdose those who have it prescribed? If not, how are they going to avoid it? Say they reduce the dosage: what if the patient that needs it doesn't drink enough tap water to receive the dose they need? That doesn't even count the whole concern over their reasoning: that places with naturally high levels of lithium in the drinking water have lower incidences of violence and suicide. So, in other words, they want to drug the masses into somnolence, just like schools do the active kids (ADHD meds for kids that are bored by low expectations and easy work, anyone?).

And last, but not least, Topeka, KS, deciding that the place to save money is in refusing to prosecute domestic violence cases. Umm...what? You mean assault isn't a felony when it's assault committed on a spouse? Interesting. And revolting. The place to cut the city's budget is in the paychecks of useless bureaucrats: either cut salaries or cut positions.

That is all for this week, but I think that's enough.

My mom's family

2011-10-07T06:52:00.000-07:00

My mother has three sisters. Two of my aunts have no backbone. One of them is mentally/emotionally about ten years old, despite being in her mid fifties. Both are incredibly passive-aggressive. The other aunt is a bully. Two aunts, the bully and the child, tend to punish my mom for things I do to make her mad.

They all compete over who is in worse health and how, whose back/shoulders/hips/knees hurt more, who is in worse shape financially. They compete over whose life is more stressful. I grew up around this kind of one-upsmanship, and sometimes it's really hard to keep sympathizing with people's problems from turning into this because of that early training.

My mom and her sisters need therapy. They need a lot of therapy. I don't recall one interaction that was healthy between the four of them in all of my twenty-some-odd years of memory. They can't all get together without somebody starting a fight.

It was interacting with my mom's family on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays that made me hate family get-togethers. Honestly, the only thing that's saved Thanksgiving and Christmas from total hatred is the time we've spent with my in-laws the past ten or so years.

Tomorrow, I'm permitting all of my family to gather for celebrating my son's third birthday (which happened yesterday). I'm afraid the trends will hold, and someone will start a fight, I'll react to protect my children from jealous harpies messing with their heads, and my mom will be punished for me removing my kids from that situation. And, since it's not fair to my kids that they don't get to know their family, I don't know that I really have many options.

And that can fuck off.

Teething? Tummy troubles?

2011-09-30T08:25:00.000-07:00

Whatever it is that's making the pixie sleep so badly the past few days (and nights) can fuck right off.

So can Michael Bloomberg--dude, you're not my daddy. Neither is anyone in the government. Stop trying to act like you are.

GRRR!!!

2011-09-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

The fucking fucks that fucking write fucking malware code and fucking computer viruses can fuck off to the fucking level of fucking hell reserved for child molesters and those who talk in the theater. I'm still trying to fucking fix the shit fucking screwed up by FUCKING malware found by my virus scanner yesterday. I still can't sign into my university's distance learning program to get yesterday's grading done.

DFS

2011-09-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

A former student of mine was recently diagnosed with Munchhausen's by Proxy by a DFS worker that never met her, and lost custody of her youngest. That can fuck off so hard that the DFS worker's grandparents feel it, investigate it, and bitchslap the worker for being such a dumb cunt. That individual is in no way an abusive parent.

FUCKING DFS can FUCK THE FUCK OFF for FUCKING being so FUCKING non-FUCKING-functional that children are placed in fucking horribly abusive fucking foster homes and/or fucking group homes, FUCKING after FUCKING being FUCKING removed from loving, non-abusive homes because some FUCKING FUCKETY FUCK of a FUCKING TWATWAFFLE can't FUCKING recognize FUCKING parental rights and FUCKING parental discipline because their FUCKING FUCKWAD FUCKS of parents never FUCKING LOVED THEM ENOUGH TO BOTHER BEING FUCKING PARENTS.

Exhausted.

2011-09-09T09:01:00.000-07:00

Too much tending of cranky, mildly injured baby, not enough sleep. No energy to tell anyone to fuck off. Have at it.

Teething, among other things.

2011-09-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

Teething can fuck right the fuck off. The imp just finished cutting his baby teeth, and the pixie is just starting. Last week, she was both sick with a tummy virus and cutting four top teeth. All at once. This week, she's working on two more bottom teeth, which is really messing up her (already bad) sleep habits.

FEMA can fuck right off with spinning, spiked knobs. And cheese. Instead of pulling the funding to fix infrastructure, they should have pulled the trailer park they're still working on constructing.

Hurricane Irene can fuck off. The nasty heat wave that this summer has been can fuck off.

I'm so tired of all the shit that's going on in the world at large and in my life in particular (I'm going to blog it on The Antisoma later) that I just want to curl up in a little ball in a dark room and hide for a while. And that can fuck off, too.

Migraines.

2011-08-19T07:24:00.000-07:00

I have one. Have had more and less for about four days, now. And it can fuck off.

Have at it.

Amen.

2011-08-12T07:08:00.000-07:00

I only have one thing to add to the following video's rant:

Mr. President, shut the FUCK up. Every time you've fucking gone in front of a fucking camera for the past two fucking weeks, the market has SHIT THE BED. PLEASE stop telling us that everything's going to be better, now--we can't afford for our markets to lose ANOTHER FUCKING TWO THOUSAND FUCKING POINTS.

Too fucking hot...

2011-08-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

Our A/C cannot keep up. The kids can't play outside. The imp is going stir crazy, and driving his daddy and me even more batty.

So, yeah: this heat wave can fuck right the fuck off. It's even sapping the energy with which I'd like to tell it to fuck off.

Most of our "leadership" can fuck off.

2011-07-29T06:33:00.000-07:00

HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT FUCKING RAISING THE FUCKING DEBT CEILING IS FUCKING TAKING A NEW FUCKING CREDIT CARD OUT TO FUCKING PAY OFF THE OLD ONES?

I'm afraid I won't have a country left for my children to grow up in.

Adjunct abuse can fuck off.

2011-07-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

I recently found out that two of my university's adjuncts quit--despite having had two classes each assigned for the fall semester.

I don't blame them, even a little. My university hasn't given adjuncts a raise since before I graduated from high school. Since the university set up the new database that does everything, the adjuncts don't get paid until the last working day of either September or February, depending on the semester.

By state law and university rules, we're forbidden from teaching more than four courses per year (summer doesn't count), and from teaching even 200 level survey courses.

We get no benefits (which I can't argue with--I don't need benefits), no chance at tenure track positions (again, can't argue--though I wish some of the tenured faculty were fireable), and a quarter of the pay of the full-time non-tenured faculty, and an eighth of the pay of the non-tenured, nonessential administration.

From what I gather, we're treated well at our university. And that can fuck off.

Whatever's making the baby a nocturnal creature can fuck off.

2011-07-15T06:36:00.000-07:00

I mean, seriously: she's gone from happily going to bed between 8:30 and 9:30 to reluctantly going to bed at 10:30 or later. Which means Mommy gets a lot less sleep.

I don't know if it's teething, or teething causing an earache, or possibly (but not likely, given that she's not running even a slight fever) a minor ear infection. But whatever it is, it can fuck off.

Just because I don't make much doesn't mean I'm willing to use government aid.

2011-07-08T06:59:00.000-07:00

I cannot count how many times a well-meaning acquaintance (or nosy but well-meaning stranger) has suggested that, because my pay from the college is so niggardly (wouldn't even pay for child care for a part-time job), I need to apply for WIC. While yes, accepting food stamps and medicaid would take a lot of stress off our budget, we're getting by just fine.

Yesterday, we took the imp to a speech therapist for an assessment. The therapist suggested, since we have a high deductible insurance that might not cover the sessions anyway, that we use the state-funded, social-work-based, in home therapy for under threes.

Thanks. Thanks a lot. Because our insurance might not pay $300/month, you don't want to deal with us. In spite of the fact that we are eminently willing to pay cash to take care of our son. We do, after all, happily pay for their doctors' appointments out of pocket. We also pay out of pocket to feed, clothe, and shelter them--there's no difference between that and supplying any other need.

Where the FUCK do people FUCKING get OFF suggesting that we FUCKING BEG FOR FUCKING GOVERNMENT FUCKING AID??? I was FUCKING RAISED on fucking food stamps, fucking welfare, and fucking medicaid--and was fucking not fucking able to get as good of fucking medical care as individuals with insurance. I wasn't fucking able to go shopping for fucking food without fucking getting treated like a fucking pariah. Don't even talk about clothes--my husband bought me my first new pair of jeans--ever--while we were dating.

So no. I'm not willing to accept fucking government fucking "aid." It's always a hundred dollars short and three months late*.

*FEMA is only just now beginning to build a trailer park for those made homeless by the tornado a month ago. They've gone so far as to move heavy equipment to the lot where they're going to build it. Just one problem with this expression of generosity: almost all of the people made homeless a month ago are no longer homeless.

When are they going to ban stupid parents, instead?

2011-07-01T05:56:00.001-07:00

Nanny government can fuck right the fuck off. With a full size copy of the Constitution and Declaration of Independence rolled up and shoved sideways up congress's collective ass.

Did you know that drop-side cribs have been banned because some idiots can't read and follow instructions, and their kids smothered between the rail and the mattress when the mis-assembled mess's rail fell out of the bottom? The nanny-government sanctioned alternatives are the cribs with one side lower than the other (dangerous when baby starts pulling up), or all four sides higher than I can reach over with an infant.

We've seen the same with some types of umbrella strollers, where kids either fell out or got severe finger injuries because their stupid fucking parents couldn't be bothered to fasten the safety harness. I cannot tell you how traumatizing having to watch the "Never Shake a Baby" safety DVD was before I left the hospital without my son (it was a requirement to checkout before I could go home "with [my] baby.")

I've seen truly obese kids--a friend's neice was 100 lbs at 4--whose parents fed them junk instead of playing with them. I've seen people think that the booster seats--required for the kids' safety with the shoulder belts--are to help them see over the dash in the front seat. I've seen parents that give their kids cell phones with cameras and unlimited texting plans, and we've all seen where that ends up.

Why the hell are the sane and competent parents being punished by bans on useful items because some idiots can't seem to use them right?

Summer class students

2011-06-24T06:58:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is, but it always seems like my summer class students are under the impression that they'll have to do less work than a full semester student, and like they're entitled to an easier class. That attitude can fuck right the fuck off. I'm giving up free time with my kids to teach their sorry, stupid asses (and dear God are this summer's students stupid), and they don't bother to read the damn textbook before asking me questions that I FUCKING ANSWERED IN THE FUCKING TEXTBOOK!!! Then, when I ANSWER said question, and tell them that it was in chapter X on X page in the textbook, THEY FUCKING HAVE THE FUCKING BALLS TO FUCKING TELL ME THAT THEY MAYBE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING READ THE FUCKING TEXTBOOK!! Only fucking MAYBE!!

And that doesn't address the whole FUCKING asking the FUCKING same FUCKING question FUCKING OVER AND OVER again, because they FUCKING didn't bother to read the damn FUCKING answer and FUCKING apply it to their FUCKING question the FIRST FUCKING TIME.

I hate summer classes. I wouldn't mind so much if I had the students that were taking summer classes because they were overachievers, but it seems like I never do.

I'd also like to send out a huge FUCK YEAH!!! to my 2 1/2 year old son for actually crapping in his potty chair for the first time this morning !!!

Sick.

2011-06-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

Three out of four of us--the baby is the only one who doesn't seem miserable.

Both parents being sick at once can really fuck off.

Cable company

2011-06-10T08:36:00.000-07:00

Recently, we told AT&T to fuck off for their new data caps on their DSL. Now, I'd like to tell our cable company to FTFO: for the second week in a row, we've had an internet/phone outage. This time, thankfully, it was only a couple hours instead of the whole day.

And thankfully, this time, it happened on a Friday, instead of some other day of the workweek--summer classes (even online ones) meet MTWTh.

Worn out. Have at it.

2011-06-03T08:14:00.001-07:00

Was on the road yesterday around five hours for a round trip—three of those with a baby in the back screaming at the top of her lungs at random intervals—taking said baby to meet a relative. I'm a bit too worn out to be angry about much this morning…so have at it.

Tornados

2011-05-26T10:04:00.001-07:00

Tornados—especially ones that park themselves next to hospitals—can fuck right the fuck off.

Looters. Looters can fuck right off to the special level of hell reserved for child molesters and those who talk in movie theaters.

People who complain about no music on radio stations offering storm and recovery coverage 24/7—and are helping people find their loved ones in the mess in Joplin—can fuck right off. Listen to your iPods or CDs. We're working on surviving.

People who complain about no cable or internet when they're still pulling survivors out of the wreckage in Joplin can fuck right off. You can complain when everyone is accounted for.

I'm posting this early because while we're safe, we had to go to my mother's to get internet access. And I'm too mentally exhausted to get worked up about this.

I really shouldn’t be complaining…

2011-05-20T05:39:00.001-07:00

Having to set my alarm to get up an hour or two before the baby so that I can get things done can fuck off. I adore both my kids, but I really wish herding the butt limpet (really, he runs up behind me, wraps his arms around my hips as far as they'll go, and presses his face into my butt, giggling when I try to shake him off), and dealing with days of "I won't sleep unless you're holding me and I'm nursing" exhaust me to the point that I can't get much done after they both go to bed.

I can fuck off for complaining, but damn if I don't need a babysitter sometimes.

ANTS!!!

2011-05-13T09:38:00.001-07:00

We are having our yearly infestation invasion of ants. We cannot figure out where they're coming in, why they're coming in, nor can we prevent them from coming in. And with a toddler and an infant, we can't spray all of the routes we've found inside—most are in the kitchen, but many are in the baby's room, or right behind the toddler's potty chair in the bathroom.

Ants. Ants can fuck off. Ants can fuck off with a giant can of ant and roach spray. I HATE ants with a bloody purple passion.

Gack.

2011-05-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

All four members of my family being sick with a cold at once can fuck off.

Not being able to ease my children's stuffed up sinuses can fuck off.

Not being able to take Sudafed can fuck off.

My state contemplating making pseuduoephedrine products available by prescription only can fuck off with rusty razorblade lined baseball bats. Lubricated with ghost pepper oil. May the sponsors of that bill be ass-plowed by the First Wookie on a four-wheeler wearing her giant prick of a husband as a strap-on.

That's all for me, but I think that's enough.

DC Comics can fuck off.

2011-04-29T06:09:00.000-07:00

Superman has always stood for truth, justice, and the American way, no matter where he went. The creators of the character and the comic were American and proud of it. They believed that the American way was the best way.

DC Comics obviously don't feel the same way. They're having Superman renounce his US citizenship. They're having him say he's tired of his actions being interpreted as US policy. Once upon a time, we had presidents who would have been willing to back his actions, and a country who would have been thrilled to export our concepts of justice and freedom for all.

Actually, now that I think of it, maybe it isn't DC comics that can fuck off. Maybe it's our current political class and politically active intelligencia that needs to fuck off. Maybe DC Comics is only reprehensible for bowing to the tastes of those groups, rather than the majority of their readers.

I don't know. I only know that DC has fucked up an icon of my childhood, and I'm really not sure how I feel about it.

Don't feel quite right about posting anything, this weekend.

2011-04-22T06:29:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone has a great Easter, and hope at least some of you get a couple days off for it.

Congress

2011-04-15T07:29:00.001-07:00

Last week, there was a huge stink about the whole budget mess. I love the way ASM826 put it—the debt is the mountain of shit at a cattle ranch, and the deficit is the load from the day, carried out to be dumped onto the mountain.

Congress can fuck off for using a teacup to remove shit from the deficit, rather than taking a backhoe to the mountain of debt. My GRANDKIDS won't be able to pay off what they're doing today. We went to war with the British over shit like this—it's nothing more nor less than taxing our future with no representation—and those fucknuckles are squabbling over what they want to add to the debt load carried by our descendants ten times removed.

A housewife could design a better budget, one that would have our soldiers in no danger of going unpaid. Nor would it treat the social security (mis)trust fund like a piggy bank to pay for treats.

So yeah, congress can fuck the fuck off for being the idiot going on a spending spree with other people's credit cards. And we the people can fuck off for electing them and handing them ours.

Chidren's colds

2011-04-08T06:09:00.001-07:00

Both my kids have one. And they can fuck off big time (the colds, not the kids). When I get sick, I have the understanding that it's not that bad, and won't last that long. My son, however, has the worst cold he's ever had, is hoarse, and doesn't understand that he won't feel so bad forever. All my four month old daughter understands is that her little head hurts, and she can't breathe properly.

I'd rather be much sicker than I currently am than have my kids sick.

That, and grading papers, is pretty much all I've got, today. The floor is yours.

CCFTFO

2011-04-01T06:48:00.000-07:00

It took my grandfather and uncle, but left my male genetic donor. Now it's taking loved ones from Ricki.

Cancer sucks worse than politicians.

My time is not my own

2011-03-25T07:45:00.000-07:00

I've got no time or ability to write seriously on my own stuff, be it academic paper ideas (I posted, briefly, on two ideas I had over at the anti-soma), short story, novels, or my blog. Don't get me wrong: I love being a mommy, but I sincerely wish my baby girl could nap alone. Unless it's bedtime--then, thankfully, she sleeps all night--she wakes up as soon as I put her down in her crib.

So: being barely able to keep up with everything I need to do every day can fuck off. Having no time to simply be can definitely fuck off.

I need some range time for some lead-based therapy.

Centered on Japan

2011-03-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

Gilbert Godfried, 50 Cent, and every insensitive pinheaded twatwaffle that mocked Japan's disaster can fuck off with prejudice.

Enviroweenies that swear that the earthquake was caused by global warming (and they are out there) can fuck off. I'm praying for all of them to receive the Darwin Award they so richly deserve.

The total lack of understanding of how the earthquakes impacted the nuclear plants, and how so many are sure we're looking at another Chernobyl, can also fuck off. So can the instant cry of "We must eradicate nuclear power because the plants are soooo dangerous!!!"

There is so much hype about everything that everyone is losing sight of Japan's earthquake victims. After all, the idea that Japanese people are dying of dehydration, starvation, exposure, and other issues but aren't looting everything isn't as sexy in the news as the specter of a nuclear meltdown.

Turning 32.

2011-03-11T07:41:00.000-08:00

Gas prices can fuck right off--otherwise, we'd have my mother watching the kids while we went to the range.

The fucktard-in-chief and his merry fucking band of fucking idiots can fuck right off for opposing the policies and actions that could ease it can fuck off so hard their wives can taste it.

Have at it.

Government Bureaucratic Overreach can fuck off.

2011-03-04T04:33:00.000-08:00

Especially when something like this gets our guys killed. Who the FUCKING hell assumes that a FUCKING US agency can do FUCK-ALL about a Mexican drug cartel? Hello, they're fucking not fucking American fucking citizens--an American criminal action fucking cannot do one fucking thing about them. It's been fucking demonstrated that the fucking Mexicans can't either. So, why are the fucking idiot fucking BATFE letting guns walk across the border?

The quote that really made my blood boil was from an e-mail from a supervisor: "If you don't think this is fun you're in the wrong line of work... Maybe the Maricopa County jail is hiring detention officers and you can get $30,000 ... to serve lunch to inmates..."

WHAT KIND OF FUCKING IDIOT TWATWAFFLE FUCKTARD THINKS FUCKING INVITING FUCKING DRUGRUNNING FUCKING ILLEGAL FUCKING ALIENS TO BUY AND HAND OVER FUCKING BARRET .50 RIFLES IS FUCKING FUN?!?

This has already killed one of our border patrol agents. How many more will this moronic policy kill before the BATFE is de-funded for rampant stupidity?

Because, seriously, unless the case they're trying to make is against American gun manufacturers and sellers, this policy doesn't make sense. And if the case they're trying to make is against gun manufacturers and sellers...well, that's a whole 'nother fuck-off.

typing one handed, today...

2011-02-25T08:19:00.000-08:00

Whoever stole this guy's prosthetic leg is lower than a snake's trail and can really fuck off. Painfully and with prejudice.

Why do we have to hurt our kids for their own good?

2011-02-18T03:59:00.000-08:00

My baby girl got her first shots, the day before yesterday, which prompt today's post.

First, having to hold your baby down while someone else hurts them can fuck right off, with bells on. I know it's so she won't get horribly sick later, but the look in those huge eyes when they stuck her chubby little baby legs nearly made me cry.

Second, this guy: Andrew Wakefield. He's another example of sheer evil. I don't know what else to call a guy that tries to scare parents out of getting their kids immunized with one vaccine to try to get his on the market and make money on one hand, and hurts disabled kids on the other, also to make money.

Gonna give myself away a bit, here...

2011-02-11T05:40:00.000-08:00

The police chief of Joplin, MO, can fuck right the fucking fuckety fuck right off for trying to ban over the counter sales of Sudafed and its generics altogether. We already have to hand over private data to be allowed to have the pharmacy techs fetch it from behind the counter to stop those eeevil meth cooks from being able to get the ingredients for their eeeevil drugs, and this twatwaffle--who, by the way, DOESN'T FUCKING BOTHER TO COLLECT THE FUCKING INFORMATION FROM THE DIFFERENT FUCKING PHARMACIES AND FIND THE FUCKING CRIMINALS THAT ARE HIS FUCKING JOB TO FUCKING HUNT DOWN--wants to pass legislation that penalizes the 99% of the law abiding population to target the 1% of the population that WOULD JUST LEAVE JOPLIN TO FIND THEIR SHIT ANYWAY.

*Deep breath. Relax.*

I just listened to a bit of interview that fucktard was having on the radio. I think part of what pisses me off the most (besides the fact that he's trying to FUCKING LEGISLATE HIS FUCKING WAY OUT OF FUCKING DOING HIS FUCKING JOB) is that he was pulling all kinds of statistics out of his ass to try to scare people into letting him remove their rights because he knows best. I STRONGLY FUCKING DOUBT that 90% of all pseudoephedrine sales go to make meth. And while I know that shit's powerfully addictive, I also STRONGLY FUCKING DOUBT that it addicts most people on the first sample UNLESS THEY'RE FUCKING ALREADY FUCKING PRONE TO BEING FUCKING ADDICTED TO FUCKING SHIT LIKE THAT.

May the fleas of a million camels infest his armpits and genitalia. May the First Wookie ass-plow him on a diesel powered snowmobile, wearing her limp-wristed husband as a strap on dildo. May he be tarred, feathered, and run out on a rail, all the way to a metro area that would love to have twatwaffles like him dictate their lives by the people of Joplin in the next election that deals with his office.

I hope being angry enough to spit nails doesn't give my baby girl colic.

Al Gore and his global warming

2011-02-04T06:34:00.000-08:00

I'm in an area that got slammed by the big winter storm this past week. While I'm thankful that we got no ice, we did get a record amount of snow dumped in one storm (tied for second since records have been kept).

Snow I can handle. This much snow is another matter altogether. We have drifts taller than my son. We also have highs in the teens and lows below zero, and more snow in the forecast.

So global warming can fuck off for one of two reasons: either a) it's somehow causing this record cold and snowy winter; or b) it ran away with its tail between its legs in the teeth of another possible mini-ice-age.

Really?

2011-01-28T05:39:00.000-08:00

The drop in civil discourse that makes peeing on someone's fucking office door--REPEATEDLY--seem like a reasonable course of action can fuck right the fuck off.

(Still...the ten year old in my sense of humor found it funny, regardless)

I don't quite have strong enough words for this man.

2011-01-20T22:29:00.000-08:00

So-called Dr. Kermit Gosnell.

Abortion is one thing. I don't care which side of the divide one's opinion falls on, whether abortion should be permissible or not (I tend to stand on the side of not, but won't force my beliefs on others). What that individual did is a whole other set of crimes against humanity: he induced labor, delivered living babies, and murdered them. Some of them were at the same point in development as my son, who's now a healthy, rambunctious, hilarious two year old with a personality that just won't stop. Some were even later term.

May he die in screaming agony, bleeding from every orifice, and wake to the realization that he's about to be forever ass-plowed by demons with flaming anvil-shaped cocks the size of Texas. May his wife, who's also implicated in this great evil be punished like Promethius, but with winged demons ripping pieces of her uterus out and eating them, instead of eagles eating her liver. May they each face the horror and shame of knowing their own evil before they die.

Murdering an adult is one thing. This man's forcing helpless, innocent babies into the world so he can murder them is a whole new level of evil.

Could not have said it better.

2011-01-14T08:17:00.000-08:00

From Ken: "Fuck off to that filthy little shit in Arizona. I hope they fry his scumbag ass."

Likewise, the sheriff involved can fuck off. Not only has he screwed up, but it seems like he's running for the congressional seat of the woman that got shot in the head. And it's not a sure thing that she's not going to be able to recover and keep it.

The anti-gun Nazis that blame the equipment rather than the crazy fucker that used it can fuck right the fucking fuck off. May they be ass-plowed by the first Wookie on a four wheeler, using her worthless scumbag Commie husband as a strap-on dildo.

More personal stuff

2011-01-06T22:56:00.000-08:00

Infant colds that require traumatizing a baby that's just barely a month old (she absolutely hates the bulb syringe, and will scream like I'm caning her) can fuck off. Especially since it means that this weekend's planned visit to my in-laws is up in the air, which is not fair to my two year old imp who adores his grandparents. So, yeah: anything that makes a tiny baby sick can fuck right the fucking fuck off.

With cheese.

Figured out reasons for my sleep deprivation...

2010-12-31T08:18:00.001-08:00

...and infant reflux can, again, fuck right the fuck off. My baby girl has developed it. I don't like watching my kids squirm in pain--and it's worse because this one whimpers, but doesn't cry. Hopefully, she'll be able to tolerate the Ranitidine ($27) so we don't have to put her on Prevacid ($175 for a newborn infant's 'scrip).

Update: I almost forgot--Have a happy National Hangover Day tomorrow.

Merry Christmas, and God bless you all.

2010-12-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

I may dread Christmas, but that's because of the obligatory family visits when I don't particularly like my family--and when the members I don't like won't refrain from picking fights. I am a Christian, and I'm incredibly grateful for the reason behind the celebration.

That said, last week my other half and I were leaving a store, and dropped some money into a Salvation Army bucket. The kid (12 or so) manning the bell wished us "Happy Holidays."

Say what, now?

I thought the Salvation Army was a Christian organization. I thought all bell ringers wished everyone a Merry (or blessed, or some such) Christmas. I did NOT expect to have more politically correct monkey crap thrown at me by a Salvation Army bell ringer.

Political correctness, and those who are offended by mere mentions of anything to do with Christianity can FTFO. With those pointy, fragile glass Christmas tree ornaments dipped in all the various holiday dips.

Not much, but it's a doozy.

2010-12-17T06:15:00.000-08:00

Sleep deprivation can fuck off. So can my brain's inexplicable refusal to shut down enough to let me nap when both little ones are sleeping.

Thank God that the baby has already decided to sleep for one five hour stretch most nights, and that the toddler still sleeps 12 hour nights.

At least this time, I got to bring the baby home.

2010-12-10T06:09:00.000-08:00

So no, there's nothing but a huge FUCK YEAH! there. The darling little dumpling decided four weeks early was long enough, and arrived last Saturday. Her big brother adores her.

Politics in general and life-long politicians in general (*cough* Charlie Rangel *cough*) can definitely fuck off. Said asswipe is an excellent argument for term limits adding up to no more than twelve years for either House or Senate.

The entitlement mentality rampant amongst the American population can definitely fuck off. So can those that display it, like my student who plagiarized--badly--and then had the guts to tell me that she didn't mean to do it, had a whole list of books in the library she "looked at," would create a works cited page, and "didn't deserve to fail."

That, and she'd tried to go to my department head before even trying to communicate with me about it, makes me wonder if the next thing she's going to play is the race card. It also makes me wonder if, somewhere, there's a class teaching these entitled twatwaffles how to get around societal and educational rules.

Yes, I'm a little bitter. I happen to be teaching the next generation of Rangels, only with fewer brains and qualifications, and there's nothing I can do about it but be glad there's no way this particular twit can pass, even if she does do what I told her to do to get out of the plagiarism issue.

Season's beatings

2010-12-03T04:21:00.000-08:00

Every year, it seems, one more locally placed Nativity scene is removed; one more Christmas tree becomes a Holiday tree or Winter Festival tree. Every year, we're supposed to be a little more afraid of offending someone by wishing them a Merry Christmas as we check out at the stores, or as we (in academia) leave for Christmas Break (whups! sorry! "Winter Break"). Political correctness, which seems to permit freedom of expression for all who aren't practicing Christians can fuck right the fuck off.

So can the killjoys that like to get to happy people by cutting "I hate Christmas" declarations. I might dislike celebrating the holiday with my family, but that's because of my family, not the holiday, and I try very hard not to ruin it for all. Those who are rude and self-centered enough to enjoy trying to ruin others' Christmas spirit can fuck right the fucking fuckety fuck off with those thin, pointy, glass Christmas baubles filled with high-proof eggnog.

On a more personal note, sinus headaches that devolve into migraines when you can't take anything besides Tylenol (and when coffee makes you sick) can also fuck off.

Have at it, and have a good weekend.

The TSA, and reactivity vs. proactivity

2010-11-26T06:29:00.000-08:00

I don't oppose increased security on airlines. I haven't opposed such since September 2001.

I do, however, think the TSA and Homeland Security can fuck the fucking fuckety fuck off with bells on, and jagged glass knobs dipped in habanero nacho cheez. I have no clue how they can justify groping or strip searching little kids, or breaking cancer survivors' urine bags, or having people arrested for opting to leave instead of having their "junk" touched--especially as none of those individuals are likely to be a terrorist.

As for the individuals that are likely to be terrorists...well, Homeland Security tends to bend over backwards hard enough to have their heads up their asses just to avoid offending them because of "racial sensitivity."

Which can also fuck off.

This is bad year round--it just happens to get highlighted by holiday travel.

My nerves.

2010-11-19T06:56:00.000-08:00

Specifically, the sciatic nerve that runs from my heel up to my butt, can fuck right off. Especially as I can't afford to go get that treated.

Your turn.

Because I can empathize...

2010-11-12T06:40:00.000-08:00

...this one is for Ricki.

Students who do none of the work, and won't show up for lecture, but come in in the last month or so of class whining about how badly they need to pass the class and begging for extra credit can fuck right the fuck off. So can the Department of Education and incompetent individual K-12 administrations that have taught said students that that behavior is perfectly acceptable by not permitting classroom teachers to fail students who haven't done the work with the 0% they've earned.

Heathens of all ages above three who won't respect rules in classrooms or libraries, or behave themselves in public (stores, restaurants, etc) can fuck right off, too. And so can the parents who permit, enable, or ignore such behavior--in fact, the parents can fuck off harder with a rusty chainsaw for not loving their kids enough to teach them to be human.

I'm sure there's some equivalent in the corporate world, but since I've always lived in academia, I have no clue what it might be.

Have a good weekend, y'all.

Ding, dong, the witch is dead!

2010-11-05T07:49:00.001-07:00

A great big FUCK YEAH! to Nancy Pelosi losing the Speaker of the House position. And to all of the people who voted last Tuesday, whichever party they voted for. From what I've read, that was a record turnout for a midterm election.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

I got nothing.

2010-10-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

I've been ignoring the news--too depressing. Other than that, all I've got are the standard complaints.

The floor is yours.

Gah.

2010-10-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

The last stages of carrying my daughter are not fun. The constant, nagging aches, lingering nausea, and inability to sleep can fuck right off. So can the fear that she won't be any more patient than her brother, and decide to come early enough to not be able to come home when I do. So can work stress.

On top of all of that, my university is trying to take class autonomy away from online professors. They're saying that they want to make the online classes more uniform, and that all we have to do is come up with a department wide syllabus, a schedule of what we want to teach, and send it and any handouts to them, and they'll design the course for us.

That may be all well and good for new profs that have never taught online before, but I have. I've been teaching online for two years, and my department head says I'm the department's best online teacher (I tend to revise and rework what doesn't work for the students on a weekly basis). I do not need someone taking my class away from me because others won't bother to fix what's wrong with their course.

So, my last FFO is this: glorified technology administrators that have delusions of adequacy and feel the need to prove that they're more than glorified technology administrators can definitely fuck off. Hell, I'll even help them pull their heads out of their asses so that they can.

I don't need this shit. If that goes through, I may not be teaching next fall. Which will suck in many, many ways--beyond losing the money, I'll be losing the a job that I truly love doing.

Bureaucratic BS

2010-10-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

I've been notified that I have to log into my university account and enter midterm grades. This, regardless of the fact that my students can log onto their distance learning account in the class platform and look at their grades. They know approximately what their grades are. The university really doesn't need to know, and indeed, I'm not sure that doesn't violate the privacy laws in my state.

Bureaucratic bs that serves no purpose but making more work for those who actually, you know, do the actual work in whatever company, university, or organization, can fuck right the fuck off.

Getting behind in grading can also fuck off.

Not much this week.

2010-10-08T12:28:00.000-07:00

Beyond the fact that the imp has started suddenly refusing to eat anything but Cream 'o Wheat, yogurt, apple sauce, or french fries, it's been a pretty good week. At least, it has for me.

Have at it.

Sorry.

2010-10-01T15:45:00.000-07:00

Caught cold. Lost track of days.

This guy can fuck off. With a shattered baseball bat.

Food nannies

2010-09-24T07:27:00.000-07:00

Food nannies can fuck right the fuck off. Especially those that focus on ruining children's happiness by taking away chocolate milk.

Might as well tell them that all the school breaks are canceled for the foreseeable future.

Urgh.

2010-09-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

First papers of the semester are coming in today. So are the week's blogs from the classes I'm teaching. Being swamped under grading (or paperwork, or Friday meetings for those of you who work outside academia), can fuck right off with a ten-foot pole topped by a dozen knobs dripping with habanero nacho cheez sauce.

Teething.

2010-09-10T07:22:00.000-07:00

There were a lot of little things that really got on my tits, this week. The worst one was the teething pains that turned my happy, cheerful, funny little imp into a typical two-year-old little shit. So the teething thing can fuck off. Especially with the four last back teeth that also seem to make his ears hurt, and make him unwilling to eat.

Carrying a baby low can also fuck off. Baby girl sitting in pelvic girdle + pregnant hormones loosening ligaments and tendons = some major hip/pelvic pain. Which also makes my back hurt, and makes the above-mentioned teething problems harder to tolerate without screaming.

And being pregnant means I can't end the worst days with a large, neat Scotch.

Update: I almost forgot--Islamofacism can also fuck off, because of what they did nine years ago, and because of what they'd love to do tomorrow on that anniversary. And because of the victory center they want to build in NYC.

One hell of a week.

2010-09-03T17:33:00.000-07:00

That's my only excuse for having forgotten that it was Friday: I'm fried.

Administration and bureaucracy

2010-08-27T06:18:00.000-07:00

You know, the idiot conjoined twin concepts that share a brain and think they know everything needed to run something. Yeah. Those can fuck off. With Cheez in a spray can.

First problem: one of my classes didn't "make." (Actually, if admin had permitted my department head to do what he wanted, they both would have.) Ten students per section is the minimum, and I had nine students in one section, eleven in the other. All they would have had to do was shift one student into the section with nine, and they told my department to shift the nine students into the other section and yank one.

Granted, I understand on one level: I'm paid by the section, and that would have saved the college the pay on the other. I'm sure nearly $2000 is a huge chunk of the budget on the level they're playing with.

On the other...well...that cuts my pay in half, and I didn't find out until the day classes started.

(At least it left me free to help my department head fix a clerical problem--one of my part-time colleagues was double-booked, so I took one of her 8:00 a.m. TTh classes, and shifted it online--er, Blackboard enhanced it. I'll be on campus two days a week, and they'll be in class. Really. We're not cheating the asshats in the admin of $150 extra in fees for 27 students. I promise.)

Second problem: I have access to one of my rosters. Today. Next week, because admin kept postponing my contract because of the "We don't know if both your sections will make" issue, I'll be deemed no longer working for the university, and won't have access to either my rosters or my pay information (though that last matters less--I won't get paid until the last day of September).

So yeah, admin and bureaucracy can fuck off with the plastic nozzles of their cans of Cheez crammed so far up their ass that the nozzle's are at eye level.

Have a good weekend.

Nearly nothin'

2010-08-20T06:49:00.000-07:00

All I've got this week pissing me off is the continuing, nearly constant low-grade nausea. I'm in too good of a mood--the ultrasound was yesterday, and we found out we're having a girl!

Have a good weekend, everyone.

Bureaucracy

2010-08-13T05:57:00.000-07:00

The way my job has their computer systems set up, I'm going to have a damn hard time doing everything they want me to do for the first two or so weeks.

I have to sign a new contract every semester. My contract is kind of up in the air right now, because no one is sure both my classes will make (which will be a fuck-off all of it's own, if one doesn't--they'll fold all of my students into one class, and drop the other, which halves my pitiful paycheck). Without that contract being in HR's hands, they'll kick me off of the system. Right on the first day of the semester. Which means that now, with the way they've got things set up, I won't be able to access my official roster to tell my students that they aren't officially enrolled, and they need to fix that (for at least another month while they get that fixed).

That can fuck right the fucking fuckety fuck off. So can the sleazebag that decided on the new system four years ago that we didn't have the hardware to pull off. We've got one more year before our hardware will be totally upgraded to properly run the software.

Another thing that can fuck right off is that I'm not going to be getting paid until the end of September. Yep, I'll be working for six weeks before I see my first paycheck. Which is likely to be half of what it was last semester. That implemented with the new computer system: "It's too hard to change the computer system to deposit your paycheck with everyone else's--even if we get your contract before the end of the previous semester."

Sounds to me like the bitch running human resources is just making a power play over the part-time faculty because she can't with the full-time faculty, or with the upper administration.

And she can fuck off with a rusty-razor-wire wrapped cracked glass dildo as big as her inflated ego.

The Clinton appointee in AZ can Fuck Off.

2010-08-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

Arizona's law paralleled federal law. It forbade law enforcement officers from pulling people over just because they were Mexican--they had to be doing something else (like speeding, or doing a drug deal) before cops could ask them to prove they were there legally.

A judge in Arizona gutted the law the people asked for, the legislature passed, and the governor signed to sandbag the flood of criminals in their state.

They've had to close many of their parks because it's too dangerous for American citizens. And that stupid bitch won't let the state protect its citizens by making federal law applicable on the state level, because it interferes with federal (non) enforcement of immigration law.

Liberal Clinton-appointed bitch of a non-judgmental judge can fuck off with a double cracked glass dildo powered by a saber-saw, and lubed with rancid habanero nacho cheeze sauce.

A few bad choices on your part do not constitute an emergency on mine.

2010-07-30T06:58:00.000-07:00

Students who do not one lick of work after the first week, but e-mail once or twice begging me to tell them what to do to not fail can fuck off. Especially when I answered the first time (turn in the papers, do the blogs, and don't fall behind again), and the second time was the last fucking week of class.

Some people aren't suited to college. And some aren't suited to taking online classes.

Specialists

2010-07-23T06:50:00.000-07:00

I've noticed in both the academic field and the medical field that there is a bias against generalists. In the small university where I teach, most of the newer faculty in my department are not only specialists, but really narrow specialists that pat me on the head (figuratively--if they did it literally, they'd lose a hand), and tell me to run along because I can't be as smart as they are because I'm a generalist.

Umm...I'm not the one that limits my students' writing topics to my narrow interests because "nobody can understand every topic a student might write about." I may not understand the sports stuff, but I can Google it. As for all of the other possible topics, well, I've got a good, solid, basic understanding of everything else my students have ever written about.

Enough of that though: the real irritation I've got this week is with doctors. My prenatal caregiver is a nurse midwife. She's competent, and I like her quite a bit. But when my blood tests came back with my thyroid abnormally low--like .15 points lower than the bottom of the scale low--she didn't feel comfortable prescribing me anything for it, or sending me anywhere but to a specialist.

Said specialist said I was okay to wait until November.

Look. I'm one of the dream(or nightmare) patients that look up and research everything about their own health. I know that a low thyroid can cause problems for me while I'm pregnant (beyond just being so tired my hair hurts), AND WORSE ONES FOR MY UNBORN BABY. It is unacceptable to not fix that NOW.

So, I called my GP (who my midwife was uncomfortable sending me to, because she's a generalist) at 4:30 on Tuesday. And told her receptionist what was wrong, and that I felt awful. My generalist got me in the next morning, and gave me a prescription that I could feel clearing my foggy brain as early as an hour after I took my first dose.

I won't say specialists can fuck off, but I will say their attitude that generalists aren't as smart or as good for most purposes can.

Unprepared students

2010-07-16T07:36:00.000-07:00

I've been teaching a composition class this summer. I usually don't teach during the summer, but I've come to a realization that there's a sharp dichotomy between the types of students that have signed up for my class: some are really good, and some are really not.

When I say really not, I mean they're so computer illiterate that they don't know how to double-space their papers in Microsoft Word. They create a new blog for each assigned blog post. They don't understand how to use the class platform website. They don't read the textbook I put together for them that explains how to do all of that, and don't read the instructions on any of the assignments.

And they whine to me about being unable to meet even my minimal expectations when they get an F.

I'm not saying my students can fuck off (even though I'd love to tell some of them that). It's not entirely their fault that they're so stupid. No, the ones that ought to fuck off are the ones that told them that they're capable of college level work when they're obviously not smart enough to do college level work.

The flo9r is yours.

I got nothin'.

2010-07-09T07:21:00.000-07:00

This weekend is looking pretty good. Yes, I still have papers to grade, but I refuse to think about them. My other half and I will be getting some range time this weekend to celebrate being married for six years.

The floor is yours.

The administration

2010-07-02T07:19:00.000-07:00

For the sake of the country, the economy, and our future generations, the current administration and most congresscritters can fuck off.

That is all.

Miscarriages

2010-06-25T06:43:00.000-07:00

No, not me. A good friend of mine and his fiance lost theirs.

Anything that makes a strong man that I look up to as a big brother cry like that, can fuck off all the way to hell.

For those of you who pray, keep my friends in your prayers.

"Hazing" can fuck right off.

2010-06-18T10:59:00.000-07:00

I heard on the radio this morning, that a neighboring university (our main rival) has had an issue with hazing in one of their football camps. A really nasty issue with hazing that involved sexual abuse.

Hazing, and those that participate in it as tormentors, can fuck right the fuck off. No one deserves that kind of treatment.

It's all yours. Have a good weekend.

Helen Thomas can fuck off.

2010-06-11T06:46:00.000-07:00

Seriously, bitch: telling Israeli Jews that they need to go back home to Germany and Poland? Yeah, that can really fuck off.

Just because the ovens have been dismantled doesn't mean they won't be rebuilt. Most of Europe still carries the same anti-Semitism, as much due to the permissive/non-inclusive attitude toward their immigrants from countries that hate Jews even more than Hitler did.

It's all yours. Have a good weekend.

"Improvement" that isn't can fuck off.

2010-06-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

The university where I teach has recently "upgraded" the online class software. That "upgrade" involved making the platform more complicated, and take longer for the screens and content to load.

It also made changing the way the class is set up a lot more time and labor intensive.

So, "upgrades" and "improvements" that make things worse--and the faculty and administration that pushes it through without checking it out--can fuck right the fuck off.

Your turn. Have a great weekend.

Blood tests

2010-05-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

I had my first prenatal appointment on Wednesday. They needed to have drawn about four vials of blood, but could not find a vein. Not in either elbow, wrist, or hand. So I have to go back today for them to try again.

So, blood tests can fuck off. My tiny, fragile veins that make drawing my blood extremely difficult can fuck off. So can the knowledge that they're going to have to poke me in four or five places to get enough for the tests. I hate needles.

The floor is yours. Bitch away.

One of each, today.

2010-05-21T08:25:00.000-07:00

First, a big FUCK YEAH! to the rat that photobombed Obama. See below:

...and my brain can fuck off for coming up with too many smart-ass remarks to get one out.

Second, the President of Mexico can FUCK right the FUCKING FUCKETY FUCK off for FUCKING HAVING THE FUCKING GUTS TO FUCKING castigate us for Arizona's new immigration law. You FUCKING HYPOCRITICAL FUCKING ASS-BITING FUCKING RANCID FUCKING DISEASED COCK-LEAK! Mexico's immigration laws are far more harsh, AND are far more strictly enforced, AND YOU FUCKING DARE FUCKING TELL US THAT OUR FUCKING LAWS ARE TOO FUCKING HARSH?!! FUCKING CHANGE YOURS BEFORE YOU FUCKING GET THE FUCKING ETHOS TO FUCKING CRITICIZE OURS!

And Dear Leader can fuck off for joining in the dog-pile on his own country.

May the two of them be ass-plowed by the First Wookie driving a bio-diesel up-armored Humvee. May all of the criminal aliens in the United States stampede over the both of them on their way to claim the amnesty you want to grant them.

And may the both of them rot in hell together for what they're trying to do to this country. Especially the one that was elected president of this country.

Take it away. Have a good weekend.

For Ricki

2010-05-14T08:38:00.000-07:00

Passive-aggressive student bullies that try to guilt you into raising their grade, giving them extra credit work, or letting them redo something that you said they couldn't--especially at the end of the semester when you're trying to get caught up with grading--can fuck right the fucking fuck off.

Push-over colleagues that teach them that that's acceptable behavior that works can fuck off with rusted-nail-studded knobs dipped in rancid habanero nacho cheeze.

Thank God I teach online, and don't have to deal with such.

Ann Arbor's elementary principal can fuck off.

2010-05-07T08:24:00.000-07:00

You don't close an achievement gap by taking black kids on a field trip that white kids don't get to go on.

He says, “The intent of our field trip was not to segregate or exclude students as has been reported, but rather to address the societal issues, roadblocks and challenges that our African American children will face as they pursue a successful academic education here in our community.”

Listen, fucktard: if you try to close the gap by making one set of kids dumber, your whole school falls behind. Like it or not, the culture that your black kids come from stigmatizes working hard and getting good grades as acting white. If you really want to close the achievement gap, work on that attitude first.

It's all yours.

Eurg.

2010-04-30T07:27:00.001-07:00

The absolute exhaustion and all-day morning sickness I've been feeling can fuck right off.

It's all yours. Have a good weekend.

Umm...hi.

2010-04-23T07:15:00.000-07:00

I offered to help Ken & Emily out from time to time, when they got really busy. So, here goes...

That suburban Philadelphia school district that used school issue laptops to spy on their students can fuck the hell off with the legal briefs being filed against them dipped in rancid habanero nacho cheez sauce. Using the built-in webcam to take pictures of students in their home is invasion of privacy at best, and child pornography at worst. No, it isn't "cool," it isn't your own little private soap opera. I hope investigators find naked pictures of some of your under-18 students, and the lawsuit turns into prosecution that snares all of the admin and the teachers that have been enjoying abusing the anti-theft software.

On a more personal note, my university's administration can fuck the fucking fuck right off with a half rotted fence post wrapped in barbed wire and dipped in newly-fertilized field mud. Over the past ten years, we've gone from a highly-regarded state college to a really bottom-tier university. We weren't ready for that change, haven't improved to the level students expect from a university, and are, quite frankly, a joke. And if that isn't wonderful enough, it looks like my school has been badly enough mismanaged that we're in danger of being kicked back to junior college status.

Look, you stupid fuckleheads: it took forty years to go from a brand new two-year to a well-regarded one to a brand new four-year state college. It took a further twenty-five years to go from brand new to a well-regarded four year college. We weren't ready for university status. We didn't have any programs in place or ready to be put in place. We didn't have the money. We didn't have the library (and, since that was the first place for budget cuts, the library is now worse than it was when I was a student there).

I'd go into more, but...I don't want to give enough info for my school to be identified and have word get back.

Take it away, and have a good weekend.

Late again

2010-04-16T21:13:00.001-07:00

Well fuck off to me. And to late afternoon meetings that go overtime. Chime in if you not too pissed off at me.

JEEBUS!!!!

2010-04-10T17:33:00.001-07:00

We've missed it for two weeks????

Good golly gravy.

Well fuck off to losing track of time.

Thanks For Nothing

2010-03-19T07:32:00.000-07:00

Passive-aggressive, ridiculously conditional "friends" can fuck off.

Other than that, I'm good. Get it out of your system and have a great weekend.

Late

2010-03-05T15:46:00.000-08:00

Oops. Forgot again. Commence Friday Fuck Offing....

2010-02-26T06:44:00.000-08:00

Did I forget again last week? Ugh.

Anyhoo...the stoplights in this town can fuck off for being all off-kilter. And closing off a chunk of L.A. two weeks before the Oscars can fuck off. Look, I want to protect our pretty people as much as the next guy. But come on....

Have at it.

Nothing

2010-02-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

I got nothing. It's been an OK week for me. Go ahead, y'all.